“Pardon me if I don’t believe that,” she remarked, turning to leave.
Colin put a hand on her arm to still her retreat. “Please don’t go,” he said. “Allow me to explain.”
Despite her reservations, she found herself curious about what he had to say. “You have one minute.”
Running a hand through his hair, Colin said, “I have practiced this speech hundreds of times, but I’m afraid I find myself at a loss for words.”
“Then perhaps we should go inside.”
“No,” he said firmly. “I will find the words. Just please give me a moment.”
The small plea in his voice made her pause. “Go ahead, then.”
Colin met her gaze. “When you accepted my offer of marriage, I was the happiest man alive,” he revealed, “but I knew that I was being terribly unfair to you.”
“How so?”
“I was serving in the army, and I intended to make a career out of it,” he explained. “I had no idea if I would survive each battle, much less the war.”
“I was aware of this.”
Colin took a step closer to her. “I wanted more for you,” he said. “You deserved a husband that never left your side.”
“I agreed to your offer, knowing you would be gone for months or years.”
“But it wasn’t fair of me to ask that of you,” he said. “Furthermore, you would have been expected to live on an officer’s salary. It was a far cry from the life you were used to, and I knew that I couldn’t do that to you.”
“So you decided for me?”
“I did,” he replied. “I did what was best for you.”
Arabella saw the crestfallen look on Colin’s face and knew that he was in earnest, but breaking their engagement hadn’t been fair of him.
“Thank you for explaining your reasons, but you were wrong in doing so,” she said. “I would have waited for you until my last breath.”
“But I might never have come home.”
“Then I would have treasured the time that we did have together.” She took a step closer to him. “I’m afraid you underestimated how much I loved you.”
“Bella…”
“You made your choice, Colin,” she said firmly. “Just so you know, I accepted your offer because ofyou. Not because of your prospects.”
He winced a little. “You deserved better than me.”
“You’re right,” she agreed with a bob of her head. “I deserved someone who would have fought to keep me.”
Reaching for her hand, he gently encompassed it in his own and asked, “Pray tell, how can I make this right between us?”
“What is it that you want from me?” she asked, searching his eyes.
“I want another chance with you.”
Tears pricked the back of her eyes. “Do you know how hard it was to go on after you ended our engagement?” she asked, slipping her hand out of his. “You took my heart, my trust, and misused them terribly.”
“I am so incredibly sorry for the hurt that I caused you, but my circumstances have changed.” He hesitated. “I’ve changed.”
“I’m sorry, Colin, but that is a poor excuse.”
