Her brother was right. She loved nothing more than a delicious meal, but she found her appetite hadn’t returned after last night. “What do you want, Caleb?” she asked. “I am busy.”
He looked down at her blank page and smirked. “I can see that.”
“The words will come; they have to.”
“I think you are trying too hard,” Caleb said. “Why don’t you write what you know?”
“Which is?”
Caleb shrugged. “You could write about needlework or things of that nature.”
“That sounds dreadfully boring,” Anette said. “I don’t even think I could write that without falling asleep.” A thought suddenly occurred to her. “I could write about spies.”
“That is a terrible idea. Then people will start fantasizing about spies and it is anything but exciting.”
An image of Mr. Barnard’s lifeless body on the floor came to her mind and she shuddered. “You are right. It is not something that needs to be spoken of- or praised.”
Caleb eyed her with concern. “Mr. Barnard’s death was not your fault.”
She should have known that Caleb would have seen through her facade. “Whose fault is it?” she asked.
“It was his,” Caleb replied. “He was going to shoot Fredrick and you stopped him. You did a good thing. Do not doubt yourself.”
“How do you do it?” Anette asked.
“Do what?”
Anette placed the quill down next to the ink pot. “How do you pretend like this doesn’t bother you?”
“Every death, every mistake, bothers me,” Caleb admitted. “But what I do is for the greater good. That is what keeps me going.”
“I could not be a spy.”
Caleb placed a hand on her shoulder. “You would have made a proficient spy, but the agency does not employ ladies.”
Anette offered him a grateful look. “Thank you, but I do not think I could take another’s life again. Mr. Barnard’s face haunts me whenever I close my eyes.”
“That will fade with time,” Caleb said. “It always does.”
“I’m sorry.”
Caleb frowned. “What are you sorry for?”
“That you are placed in positions that you must kill for this country. No matter what you say, or how you shrug off my words, I know it must be taxing on your soul.”
He stared off in the distance as he said in a weary voice, “It is a lonely profession, that much is true.”
“I am glad that you have Roswell as a partner.”
Caleb winced as he admitted, “I fear that he won’t be my partner for too much longer.”
“Why would he stop working with you?”
Her brother removed his hand and sighed. “I daresay that his priorities have shifted ever since you were abducted.”
“I don’t understand.”
Caleb looked defeated as he admitted, “I made Roswell promise that he wouldn’t pursue you, no matter what. I wanted to keep you safe and I thought you deserved better than being the wife of a spy.”
