“It matters greatly, I’m afraid. You are a lady, and must act like one,” Bennett responded.
Edwina approached Sorrel and ran her hand down his neck. The only time that she felt free from this oppressive life was when she was riding her horse. At least her uncle couldn’t take that away from her.
Jack stepped forward. “Allow me to help you onto your horse,” he said.
Once she was seated atop Sorrel, Edwina grasped the reins and guided her horse out of the stables. She pointed Sorrel towards the woodlands and spurred him into a swift gallop. Her carefully arranged chignon unraveled, allowing her dark hair to dance freely in the wind.
She urged her horse to go faster, not bothering to wait for her cousin to catch up. She knew that Bennett would chide her on her recklessness, but she did not care. That was only when she stopped. And for now, she had no intention of doing so.
Once she reached the path’s end, she reined in her horse and waited for Bennett to approach her. She gently patted her horse’s neck, anticipating the forthcoming reprimand.
As Bennett drew near, a frustrated look marred his features as he demanded, “Do you wish to break your neck?”
“No, that was not my intention,” Edwina responded with a shake of her head.
“What was, then?” Bennett asked. “Your horsemanship is excellent, there is no denying that, but you can’t keep riding your horse like that. It is far too dangerous for a lady.”
Edwina pressed her lips together, refraining from asking if it was equally perilous for a gentleman, but she didn’t want to upset him any further.
“I’m sorry,” she said.
Bennett’s face softened. “I apologize, too. I should be accustomed to your riding by now. I just worry about you. Sometimes I am not sure if you care whether you live or die.”
“I do not wish to die,” Edwina admitted. That much was true.
“Just be careful, Cousin,” he said. “I know you are hurting now, but life has a way of getting better. You just have to hold on.”
Edwina turned her attention towards the open fields, grappling with her emotions. She wanted to believe what Bennett was saying was true, but uncertainty lingered within her.
Before her father died, she had always embraced life to the fullest, seeing no reason to ever doubt her life would be anything but extraordinary. How naive she had been. That life had been ripped away from her when her father had died from a long, lingering illness.
Edwina wanted someone to pay for his death, but there was no one to blame.
And that was the problem.
She could only blame herself for her misery.
Bennett’s voice interrupted her thoughts. “Are you all right?” he asked.
It was the same question she was asked repeatedly, but she didn’t dare answer truthfully. She didn’t want anyone to know how much she was hurting. What could they do for her anyway?
“Yes,” she replied. “I was just woolgathering.”
It looked as if Bennett were going to press her, but thankfully he let it drop. Instead, he said, “I wanted to tell you that my friend will be joining us for a fortnight.”
“Wonderful,” Edwina responded, feigning interest. Why did it matter to her if Bennett invited a friend to Brockhall Manor? She would no doubt go out of her way to avoid this person.
With a glance up at the sky, Bennett remarked, “We should return home now. I do not want my father to chide us for being late to breakfast.”
“Good point,” Edwina said. “Lead the way.”
Bennett gave her a knowing look. “Why bother?” he teased. “Your horse will just overtake mine. You should go first but do try to have some restraint.”
“If you insist,” Edwina said with a smile.
As she urged her horse into a run, Edwina knew that something had to change in her life. Happiness seemed elusive, and the uncertainty gnawed at her. No one truly grasped the depth of her emotions.
But today was a new day, and Edwina hoped that something would usher in the change she so desperately needed.
