Winston groaned. He had every intention of going until he started drinking. Then the rest of the night was more of a blur.
“Did you at least send word to them?” Melody pressed.
“No.”
Melody sighed, clearly disappointed in him. “What are you doing, Winston?” she asked. “This is not you.”
“It is who I have become,” Winston stated.
“Says who?”
Winston brought his hands up to his head, hoping this blasted headache would go away. “Just leave, Melody.”
“No.”
He turned his head towards her. “No?” he asked. “But I don’t want you here.”
“I care not what you want,” Melody replied.
“I do not want you to see me like this.”
Melody shrugged. “Then you shouldn’t have drunken yourself into oblivion last night,” she said. “I have no doubt that Mattie will be upset, as well she should be, but you can fix this.”
“For what purpose?” he demanded.
Leaning towards him, Melody replied, “Let’s start with it is the right thing to do.”
He scoffed. “What do you know about right and wrong?”
“Apparently, more than you do,” Melody retorted before she cocked her head. “What is troubling you?”
Rising, Winston removed the cravat that hung around his neck and tossed it onto the floor. “Leave it,” he stated firmly, turning away from her.
Melody appeared unbothered by the sharpness of his words. “You can shut me out, you can shut everyone out, but that is only hurting yourself.”
Spinning around, Winston demanded, “And what do you know about pain? You live in a gilded cage, and do not have a care in the world.”
Melody stood there, taking a moment to consider his words, her expression thoughtful. When she finally spoke, her voice was steady and calm, a stark contrast to his. “It appears that we both know very little about one another.” She walked over to the door. “But the difference is, I am not actively trying to ruin my future.”
Winston felt a stab of guilt at how he was treating his sister. He had no right to talk to her in such a fashion, especially since she was only trying to help him. “Melody… wait,” Winston said. “I’m sorry.”
His sister placed a hand on the door handle. “When you are ready to talk, I am here to listen. But I am not going to force you. That isn’t fair to you, or me.”
After his sister left his bedchamber, Winston hung his head. What was wrong with him? The worst part was that he knew Melody was right. He was trying to ruin his future because he didn’t think he was worthy of one.
He had wanted to forget, but his actions last night were inexcusable. He had been a terrible friend to Mattie, especially since she had been counting on him. And he had let her down. For what? A chance to forget his past?
It didn’t work. His memories were still there, haunting him every time he closed his eyes.
Winston walked over to the bed and sat down. What was he to do? He couldn’t keep going on as he hadbeen. But what choice did he have? He felt trapped in his own despair, unsure of the way forward.
His dark-haired valet, Brown, entered the room, offering a polite but knowing smile. “Good morning, my lord,” he greeted. “I took the liberty of calling for a bath for you.”
“I do not require a bath,” Winston grumbled, rubbing his temples.
“That is not what Lady Melody said,” Brown responded with a touch of humor. “I believe her exact words were ‘Lord Winston stinks and requires a bath at once.’”
Winston lifted his arm and smelled his armpit, grimacing at the offensive odor. His sister wasn’t wrong.
