Chapter Fifteen
Winston watched Mattie closely, looking for any signs of disgust. To his surprise, her face softened, and her eyes filled with compassion.
Remaining close, Mattie said, “I know you, Winston, and I trust that there is more to the story. Perhaps you should start at the beginning.”
He closed his eyes, grappling with whether he had the strength to share something so vulnerable, so raw. What if Mattie hated him for what he was about to reveal? Could he handle such a thing? A part of him wanted to flee, but a larger part of him wanted to stay. With Mattie.
Mattie dropped her hands from his person, and he immediately missed the loss of contact. But then, she held his hand, intertwining her fingers with his.
Winston opened his eyes and stared at Mattie through unshed tears. “Why are you still here?”
She offered him a weak smile. “There is no other place that I would want to be than right here. With you.”
“You say that now…”
She interrupted him. “I will say that always,” Mattieinsisted. “Regardless of what has transpired between us, I care about you, Winston. I always have, and I always will.”
Winston hoped that was true. He truly did. He was starting to care far too much about what Mattie thought of him. It was rather inconvenient. He almost preferred it when he was indifferent towards her.
Drawing in a shaky breath, Winston began, his voice low and unsteady. “It was one of my first cases. Lord Hallsands came to me and told me that one of his maids had stolen a diamond necklace from his wife. During the course of the investigation, we discovered one of their maids, Clara, was in possession of a pair of Lady Hallsands’s earrings.”
Winston winced, recalling the details. “Clara was adamant that she was just cleaning the earrings, but Lord Hallsands demanded she be taken to trial as a thief. The case seemed straightforward enough. However, I didn’t realize that Clara had been a pickpocket when she was young, nor that she had a child.”
He swallowed, unsure if he had the strength to go on.
“Is that all?” Mattie prodded gently.
“No, it gets far worse,” he admitted.
Mattie tightened her hold on his hand. “Then I shall wait until you are ready to share,” she said in an encouraging voice.
Winston could do this. He needed to tell someone about what he had done. And he hoped his trust wasn’t misplaced in Mattie. But heaven help him, he did trust her. That thought both terrified and excited him.
In a voice that was filled with his conflicting emotions, Winston revealed, “We went to trial, and based upon Clara’s past and the gravity of her crime, the judge decided she should be put to death. I tried to argue the punishment did not fit the crime, but the judge wanted to make an example out of Clara.”
Winston hesitated before sharing, “I normally avoid publichangings, but I decided to go. I saw a boy that was no more than ten years old, standing in front of the platform that had been erected for the hangings that day. I later learned that he was Johnny, Clara’s son. He watched his own mother hang before being led away.”
Mattie gasped but she remained quiet, allowing him the freedom to continue. Or not.
Glancing down at their entwined hands, Winston felt strength that he didn’t know he had. He had already come so far. “I… um… felt responsible for Clara’s death, so I was paying Johnny’s aunt ten pounds a month to care for him. I thought it was penance for what I had done.”
“That was most kind of you,” Mattie said.
Winston shook his head, the weight of guilt heavy on his shoulders. “It wasn’t enough. Johnny deserved his mother, not ten pounds a month. But it didn’t matter in the end. Isaac informed me that Johnny died in a workhouse. His aunt had sent him away and was pocketing the money I was sending for Johnny’s care.”
Mattie’s eyes widened. “That is awful.”
“It is, but that isn’t even the worst part,” Winston admitted, his voice cracking on the last word. “After Clara was hung, I saw Lady Hallsands at a soiree and she was wearing the diamond necklace that she claimed had been stolen. When I confronted Lord Hallsands about it, he explained that they found it behind the dressing table. It had fallen in the crack and no one had noticed it until later.”
“Oh, dear,” Mattie murmured.
Winston’s eyes filled with tears. “There was no crime. No reason for Clara to die,” he said. “I was responsible for her and Johnny’s deaths. I wish I had never taken the case.”
He waited for Mattie’s judgment. Her words that would confirm it was indeed his fault and he was an awful person. But none came.
Instead, in the next moment, he found himselfenveloped in her arms, drawn into a comforting embrace. It happened so suddenly that he was momentarily stunned. But within moments, he wrapped his arms around her, holding her close, her head resting on his chest.
Tears streamed down his face as he felt an overwhelming sense of safety in Mattie’s embrace. She didn’t say anything, but her silence spoke volumes. The warmth of her presence, the steady rhythm of her breathing, conveyed more compassion and understanding than any words could.
