Olivia stiffened. “Evander and I haven’t discussed children.”
“But you will have them?” the countess pressed, tilting her head.
“I… I suppose. One day.”
“Of course you will. Children may be useless little creatures, but they bring more joy than sense.”
Olivia gave a short, uneasy laugh. “I do want children. I think. But I’m afraid.”
“Of what?”
Her voice dropped to a whisper. “Of not liking them. I’ve never cared for other people’s children. They seem so… tedious. And loud.”
Lady Everwyck gave her a knowing look. “Most people feel that way. Until the child is their own. Then you would gladly move heaven and earth for them.”
“And if I don’t?” Olivia asked, her fear crackling at the edges of her voice.
“There will be days you won’t like them. But the good days will make it worthwhile. And on the bad days, you’ll be especially grateful for the nursemaids.”
Something in Olivia’s chest unknotted at that. “I always thought there was something wrong with me.”
“No,” Lady Everwyck said with quiet certainty. “You’re far more normal than you believe. Even Paul was terrified of babies. He used to hold them like fragile glass, convinced he’d drop them.”
“I can’t imagine that.”
“He was just like you. The endless questions from our sons drove him mad. But he loved them all the same.”
“I don’t think he’s changed.”
“He has,” the countess insisted. “Slowly. And not always in ways you can see.” She paused. “Have you ever truly been in love?”
Olivia looked down at her hands, fingers laced tightly in her lap. “I thought I had been. But I was wrong.”
“Love is unpredictable,” Lady Everwyck said. “Your heart rarely picks with logic. Mine chose Paul.”
The word came out before Olivia could stop it. “Why?”
The countess’s expression grew amused. “Because beneath his harsh exterior is a deeply tender heart.”
Olivia raised a skeptical brow. “Are you quite sure?”
“I am. He was always hard on Evander because he saw his younger self in him. As a second son, he understood how precarious life—and inheritance—could be. He wanted Evander to be prepared.”
“He was cruel about Evander’s choices,” Olivia responded. “He mocked his love of learning. Scorned his career in academia.”
“Because he believed Evander should stay close. Be ready to assist Bryon in case of his untimely death.”
“Evander had to make his own way.”
“He did, and I’ve never been prouder.”
“I don’t think your husband shares that sentiment.”
Lady Everwyck sighed. “Paul is not easy to love. But those are the moments he needs it most.”
Olivia hesitated, then said, “Evander’s relationship with his father is… complicated.”
“I know. I won’t excuse Paul’s behavior, but he does love his son. In his own way.”
