Another ember snapped in the hearth as Abigail arched her spine, shamelessly offering herself up to the husband she’d spent three years evading. And why? In that second, in that moment, in that breathy mewl of helpless need, she hadn’t the faintest idea why she would ever have run from him. Why she would ever have run fromthis.
Science dictated that animals mate for necessity, their breeding habits predetermined to continue the species. Humans were the only mammals that engaged in sexual intercourse for pleasure, which was why she’d never held the act in high regard as it flaunted the rules of nature. But in this single theory, withevidence collected from carriages and a bedroom in Connecticut, she was ready to admit that she had been wrong.
Very, very wrong.
There may have been no scientific reason for engaging in copious amounts of lovemaking, but that didn’t make it any less of a necessity. The act of being loved by Stephen, of loving Stephen, was not fuel for her body or her mind, as food, water, and oxygen were, but for that piece of herself she so often forgot about or, even worse, ignored.
Her soul.
“You’re thinking,” he murmured as he kissed his way up her neck. “I can see those wheels spinning.”
“Yes,” she admitted. “I was just considering the—”
“Stop, Abigail.”
“Stop?” she said weakly when he slid his hand between her legs and stroked her downy curls already damp with desire.
“Stop. For once, don’t think. Just feel.”
And so, closing her eyes and quieting her mind, she did.
She felt the rough scrape of his beard on her cheek before he claimed her mouth in long, lingering kiss that melted her inhibitions away and left her yearning for more. She felt his thumb and index finger lightly pinch her nipple, then roll the faint pain into immeasurable pleasure. She felt his finger slowly slide inside of her whilst his other hand settled at the nape of her neck, tangling in the web of her curls as he growled how wet she was.
She felt taut cords of muscle when her nails raced across his back as he held himself poised above her, his temple etched with lines of restraint. She felt the finger inside of her deepen while his palm pressed against the nerve endings above, and all of the feelings blurred together in a hazy vibration of dizzying light as she clenched around him on a moan of pure, animalistic passion.
The fire flared bright, casting a brilliant orange-and-yellow radiance framed in soft shadows across the chaise longue as Stephen eased into her slick entrance, withdrew, and entered again, sheathing his generous girth to the hilt as her heels dug into his powerful backside.
She felt them move in unison, their bodies and their breaths entwining to form one unbreakable bond as they surged toward release together. He kissed her again as the light spilled into darkness and, with a final thrust of his hips, he sent them both soaring into the bliss of sweet oblivion.
*
In the quietafter, Stephen held Abigail cradled snugly against his chest. By the even rise and fall of the plump breasts against his forearm, he knew she had fallen asleep, leaving him to watch the fire slowly dwindle with heavy-lidded eyes that refused to close all the way. Not when it washismind that now refused to be silent as intrusive thoughts marched in one after the other; a steady parade of doubt and desire walking side by side in an unlikely partnership.
This, right here, this very moment and the moments that had preceded it were what he wanted. What he had always wanted. Abigail in his arms. Abigail underneath him. Above him. Around him—it didn’t matter. All that did matter was that she was there. She washere. Now. In the present. Not a distracted piece of her, not a distant memory of her, but the whole of her. Mind, body, and heart.
That was the desire.
A wish fulfilled.
A want satisfied.
But the doubt remained. A storm cloud in a clear sky. For even as he rested his chin on the top of her head, he couldn’t helpbut think of what it had taken to get here. One night of heaven in exchange for twelve months of hell. And the worst thought of all...
Was it worth it?
Wassheworth it?
The trouble, the torment, the anger, the uncertainty.
If he known it would lead to this, he’d have searched the world over for another twelve months. Another hundred months, if that was what it took. But what ifthiswas fleeting? What if, when she woke, her mind did not go to him, but to her patient upstairs? What if he could have her, but only if it meant constantly sharing her? Of learning to be content with stolen moments at midnight?
Unconsciously, his grip tightened, as if by sheer will he could keep her beside him. Except she wasn’t a bird to be trapped in a cage or a horse to be locked in a stable. She was a human being with the keenest mind of anyone he’d ever known, woman or man. And she deserved more than to have that keen mind wasted under the weight of mundane tasks. She was preparing to safely usher new life into the world, for heaven’s sake. How did the daily mundane affairs of managing a household compare to that?
With a quiet murmur, Abigail turned in his arms and burrowed her face in the crook of his shoulder. He stroked her hair, running his fingers through the silky mahogany strands as a deep ache took in his heart.
Was it better to love someone and lose them, or to never love them at all? A question, he mused silently, that he’d have plenty of time to ponder after Abigail was gone. Because it wasn’t a matter ofifshe left him, but when.
Today.
