“Aww, he’s crying again.”
“What are the voices telling you to do now, Rem?”
“He’s just upset his little boyfriend left.”
“He's having a psychotic break.”
“Who’s chasing you, crazy boy?”
“Fucking headcase.”
“Is it safe for him to be at school?”
“How sad, he used to be so fun.”
Are they real or in my head? I don’t know.
And that’s even scarier.
I sprint out of the cafeteria and down the hall with a pair of squeaky sneakers hot on my heels.
“Remy!” Andrea cries. “Slow down!”
Not a fucking chance.
When I reach the school nurse’s office, I rip open the door in a fit of hyperventilating sobs. My ribs refuse to expand for my burning lungs. Instantly, the familiar, comforting presence of Nurse Greer surrounds me.
“I got you, hon,” she murmurs, grasping my shoulders and guiding me to the dark resting room.
“Remy—”
I can’t look at my best friend and see a reflection of everything I’ve lost. Not right now.
“Andrea, love, why don’t you go back to lunch?”
“He needs—”
I can’t. I can’t. I can’t.
“I know you mean well, but right now he needs some peace and quiet.”
Andrea’s mouth snaps shut.
Nurse Greer helps me into one of the recliners while handing me a paper cup and a pill. I don’t question it— just pop the tablet and chase it with lukewarm water. My jaw chatters as I curl into the cushy chair, allowing her to drape a blanket over me.
She glances at Andrea on the threshold, haloed in yellow light.
“I promise he’s in good hands.”
My best friend nods numbly with the sparkle of tears on her cheeks as she shuffles away. Nurse Greer sighs and combs my hair back. “She’s just worried about you, hon.”
“I don't care.”
It's a lie. I do care and that's the problem. I'm so tired of being a burden to the people I love. I'm too drained— too broken to put on a fake face. But my therapist, psychiatrist and parents don't want me to sit at home unsupervised in this state. I've been on board with it; I hate being by myself. Or I used to. But now, for the first time in my life, I don't want anyone around me.
“I need to be alone.”
She sighs, “Alright. Why don’t you take lunch in here until you feel up to joining everyone again?”
