I stick my finger down my throat and instantly heave. Acid and half-digested capsules spew out. Fire scorches up my nose, snot and tears and saliva mix on my lips. Once I start vomiting, it’s impossible to stop.
My eyelids droop.
Nonono.
I need to get to the hospital.
Crawling through the mess, I snatch my keys off the nightstand and grab the handle of V’s case before hoisting myself to my feet—
Whoa.
Woozy.
Shit.
Another wave of nausea has me puking again. Wiping my mouth on the back of my hand, I stumble out of the apartment to the parking lot.
It smells like a campfire out here.
Come on, focus. Unlock the car. Slide behind the wheel. It’s not that far of a drive. You’ve done it a hundred times for Dad. You can do it now…
Smog swallows signs, buildings and roads. Streetlights glow like dying stars. Remy called me Starlight and look, I’m dying too. I grin at the irony.
No, I’m not grinning. I’m sobbing. Uncontrollably. And it hurts— everything hurts. My stomach, my throat, my mouth, my teeth, my heart, my lungs, my fuckingsoul.
Gripping the steering wheel, I aim for the main road. I’m cruising. It’s fine. Second nature. Follow the lines. I’ve got this—
Impact snaps my head back.
Darkness descends.
I’m drifting…
“Help! Somebody help!”
Sirens.
“Can you hear me, hon?”
“Please step aside so we can get him out of the vehicle.”
“Pulse is weak.”
“Oxygen.”
“Does he have ID on him?”
“Got it… Winston Rhodes.”
But soon, their voices fade out. And when I wake, I’m met with Mom’s crying eyes.
46
Win
Any second now, I’m going to wake up from this fantasy I’ve concocted in my damaged mind where I’m in the arms of the only person in the world who sees me— therealme— and still wants me. But it feels so real that I want to believe that it’s reallyhimsoftening inside me.Hisbody beneath me.Hiseyes gazing into mine with adoration and affection and something infinitely heavier.
“What’s wrong, love?” Remy whispers, gently combing the sweaty hair off my forehead. “Did I hurt you?”
