Pretending not to hear him over the roaring wind, I angle for the secluded spot I'd originally planned to take himtwo fucking days ago. Mangroves stretch their roots into the shoreline, white puffs of fine sand kicked up in clouds behind the Jeep’s tires. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Win crane his neck, squinting through the branches at the blue-green waves.
We drive down the causeway for a few more minutes until we reach the inlet. I ease the Jeep onto the crushed shell shoulder and kill the engine.
Win watches me skeptically as I jump out and open the trunk to get the bag and blanket.
His sneakers crunch on the gravel behind me down the narrow path through an arching, tangled canopy, thick with the scent of low tide.
The trees part, bright rays of sun reflecting off sparkling blue peaks, white foam lapping at the shell-ridden stretch of beach. Ocean breeze fills my nostrils, feeling like the first full breath I’ve taken in ages.
On paper, I have it pretty fucking good. My parents and friends are supportive and involved. I’ve never known financial hardship or loss. I get good grades and I’m a decent distance runner on the track team.
But there’s a piece of me that’s disconnected like I’m cruising without purpose. The passions of others around me highlight my lack of interest. Their drive underlines my aimlessness. I hover in limbo, reaching for something I can’t name.There’s a melancholy shadow tailing me. I try to outrun it, but it clings to me like an evil spirit. I grasp at reasons to justify the defeat encroaching aroundthe edges of my soul, but there’s nothing. I should be grateful. I have everything anyone my age could want.
Well…almosteverything.
I’ve realized somethinghasevaded me until now. Something I might spend the rest of my life chasing if I don't take a risk.
I drop the bag and blanket on the sand, staring at the horizon line. Win's shadow overlaps mine, but he doesn’t speak. I breathe in the sweet sea mist like a hit of courage and pull the voucher from my pocket.
“There’s only one thing I want.”
The waves retreat.
Knuckles bump the back of my hand. “What is it?”
My trembling fingers seek his as I face him.
“To be understood.”
Those eyes don’t judge what they find. They don’t shy away from the dark edges. They burn with the one thing I’m asking for.
His lips part.
I’m drawn in like his next breath.
My mouth meets his with soft pressure.
Grey eyes fly wide, his fingers stiffening.
Blood roars in my ears with the crash of waves. He’s staring at me in utter shock and my stomach is flipping and I’m not on dry land anymore. I must be drowning because I swear my lungs are filling with water. I’ve read him wrong. I take a few steps back but my legs won’t work right. The cells I’m composed of are splitting at an alarming rate, shredding me until I’m no longer human. I’ve destroyed everything—
Hands clasp my cheeks.
Warm and firm.
Grounding me.
Ravenous lips devour mine.
It’s a rescue infusion of precious oxygen.
I inhale him.
Win.
His taste floods me with starlight— the kind of brightness that’s unafraid of the void. Fingers smooth over my short hair, his torturously delicious smile curving against my mouth.
“Feels like velvet,” he whispers and kisses me again. And again.
