Yep, I’m definitely in hell.
She giggles and taps her martini glass to my water. “Cheers!”
The guy with Remy wraps a muscled arm around his waist. I’ll give it to the fucker, he’s gorgeous— more attractive than the dealer I let use me in exchange for drugs.Crazy how much can change in such a short period of time. I’ve gone from fucked up on everything imaginable to chugging bottles of water while trying not to have a panic attack.
Fucking thriving.
“Why do you look like you’re about to cry?” Blondie asks.
Because I am.
The relationship I have with myself has never been a healthy one. For a time, I thought I could smother the voice in my head with drugs or booze until it eventually died. But as soon as the buzz wore off, that voice returned to full volume. So I’d try something stronger. And when one substance couldn’t drown it out on its own anymore, I mixed them. The cycle wrestled me into a deadly chokehold, promising an early grave.
I can’t deny that the idea of ending it all sounded like relief.
One drink. You can’t survive this without something.
“You wanna dance?”
I look down at this five-foot-nothing girl with doe eyes. She flings an arm in the direction of Remy and the lucky bastard grinding against him.
“You keep watching the dance floor,” she insists, “So I figured you were waiting for someone to ask you.”
She may not be a man, but she’s gotballs.
I sigh, “I’m gay.”
“Cool.” She shrugs. “So are we dancing or not?”
I blink at her. She rolls her eyes and grabs my wrist, hauling me along with surprising strength.
I dig my heels in as she angles for Remy.
She whips around, brows pinched.
I shake my head. “Not by him.”
The look she gives me confuses me more.
“Isn’t that the point?”
Maybe she misheard me over the music. This chick has to be plastered by now.
“He’s with someone.”
“And? You want him, right?”
Point for Blondie.
“It doesn’t matter,” I protest as the song switches to a slow, seductive beat.
“Andrea said you’d be a stubborn pain in the ass,” she grumbles and yanks me again. Where the fuck is this girl hiding these muscles?
Speaking of the deviant who’s responsible for this shitshow…
“WhereisAndrea?”
Blondie waves at the mass of writhing bodies. “She’s busy with some dudes, ok? Now can you stop stalling and let me work my magic?”
