Thank you for reminding me that you’re a massive pain in my ass.
I know I’m big but massive? You flatter me, baby.
I fucking hate you.
Hate sex is hot too.
You’re insufferable.
I’ll be there in ten.Get dressed.
… Why?
Ismirk and shove my phone in my pocket, whistling as I stroll through the kitchen in search of Mom’s car keys. Richard stands at the counter stirring a disgusting green fiber drink.
He glances up at me, face expressionless.“You’re in a good mood.”
The man is as direct as it gets; side effects of being a defense attorney, I guess. Would it kill him to act slightly less robotic?
I hold his unwavering stare. “Am I not allowed to be?”
He pours the contents of his nasty concoction down his throat.
“There’s no need for the attitude, Winston. I’m not attacking you.”
My fingers drum the back of the barstool. “There’s no attitude.”
He grunts and rolls up the sleeve of his dress shirt, fixating on the cuff. “You didn’t show up to the office yesterday.”
Sure, it could be perceived as a favor to offer me a menial job at his firm, but to me, it’s a kick in the nuts. I have no desire to sit in a freezing building surrounded by gossiping interns and judgy lawyers.
“Like I told you before, I’m not interested.”
Finally, some fire flashes in his dark eyes. “If you’re going to live here rent-free, I expect you to at least try and get your life together.”
A sardonic grin spreads across my lips as I lean over the back of a stool.
“There it is. I’ve been waiting for it.”
He grinds his teeth. “You can’t just fuck around forever. You’re using our generosity and kindness—”
I bark a laugh. “I didn’t ask to live here, Rich! I was more than fine returning to LA.”
“To do what? Deal drugs and sell yourself again?” he growls, hands splayed on the marble. My jaw clamps shut. He blows out a shaky breath, pursing his lips. “I’m trying here, Winston. Both of us are. We understand that you didn’t think you had a choice—”
“Because I fucking didn’t!”
Shame stains my skin and I can’t wash it away. The taint is bone deep. I’m broken, disgusting, and used. The ache in my throat escalates to throbbing. He can’t understand. His life wasn’t ruined. He didn't have to leave behind the boy he loved more than anything. He didn’t have to watch his father deteriorate until blood seeped out of his mouth and nose. He didn't have to choose between buying his father’s medication or paying the water bill. He can’t comprehend the relief of snorting a line. He’ll never know what it’s like to lay face down in the dirt, praying to die because at least after death the pain ends.
“Winston…”
I shake my head, letting the tears fall freely. Let him see my shattered pieces. Let him realize I’m beyond repair. Let him give up on me like everyone else, because there’s nothing left.
“You could’ve asked for help,” he says so quietly I almost miss it. “When we got that call from the hospital…” He presses his fist to his mouth. “We can’t go through that again, son.”
More tears.
“And you think I can?” I choke. He winces, but I don’t give a fuck. “You think this is a game to me? That I’m not trying either? Well, I fucking am, but it’s not enough for you. It never will be. But it’s ok, I’m used to fending for myself, so you don’t have to pretend to care anymore.”
