“You with me?”
“Yeah… I just… You didn’t even know if I’d come over last night.”
The corners of his eyes crinkle with a smile. “Call it manifestation.”
A choked laugh scrapes out of my throat. It's just raw from sex. Not emotion. Totally from sex.
His thumb swipes under my eye. “Hey…”
Shit. I’m crying.
“Sorry…”
I’m enveloped in Sebastian again, my head tucked under his chin. “You can talk to me,” he murmurs into my hair. “I’m a pretty good listener.”
I rub my nose on his shirt. Sniffle.Fuck it.“My mom used to do that kind of stuff. Dad tried, but he never paid enough attention to get it right. And then when she started getting bad… I was kind of an afterthought, you know? So it's… nice. To be thought of.”
He presses a kiss on the top of my head. “You’re all I think about.”
I hug him tighter. This feeling in my chest— it’s too much. Like I’m going to burst. He slowly pulls back and grasps my face in both hands, kissing my lips, so softly— so tenderly— that my knees almost give out.
Then he whispers, “You’re my first thought in the morning and my last before bed. When I’m away from you, I wonder what you’re doing. If you’re smiling. If you’re being treated right. If you need me. If you’re thinking of me, too. And the more I learn about you, the more I think of all the things I want to give you. All the experiences I want us to share and the places I want to take you. I think about how lucky I am to be this close to you. To be the one you’ve opened up to about the darkest things you’ve overcome, and how fucking proud I am of you for fighting through it.” His voice cracks. “I think, little by little, I’ve fallen in love with every single version of you— the vicious, sweet, reckless,beautifulpieces that make you irresistible and irreplaceable.”
My lip trembles. “You mean that?”
“With everything in me.” His gaze mists over. “Fuck, Cade… It’s honestly terrifying how much I love you.”
The overwhelming, constantacheripping through my chest has a name. And he says he feels it too. Not just in words either.
“I’m scared,” I croak. “Because loving you means I could lose you. And I can’t— I can’t do that again.”
He’s shaking his head, fighting the tears I see on the verge of spilling over. “You won’t lose me, baby. You’llneverlose me.”
Then his mouth crushes mine in a bruising kiss that tastes like relief, promises and hope. I melt into it and hand him my scarred heart.
Sixty-Three
ANDREA
Drinking that much was stupid.Selfish. Idiotic. Destructive. Inconsiderate. Pathetic. I deserve to suffer after the shit I pulled last night. Remy, Cade— shit, evenSeba— would be better off without me. I’m a tornado, spiraling out of control, destroying everything beautiful in my path.
I hug my knees to my chest, the scalding water splashing at the sides of the tub. It’s the third time I’ve refilled it. My nerves are frayed wires, sparking wildfires through my core, fueled further by the guilt ravaging my insides. When the pain gets this bad, I’m useless. I can’t function. I panic. I shut down. I’m reduced to a singular chant.
Make it stop.
Make it stop.
Make. It. Stop.
My phone vibrates on the tile. I reach over the side of the tub to grab it. An incoming call. From Cade.
Please don’t break up with me.
“Hey, babe, about last night?—”
“Where are you?” he interrupts, a twinge of panic in his voice. “I hear water.”
Shit. Hehatesbathtubs. And water. I shut off the faucet.
