Grant’s brow lowers. “We’re supposed to be on our best behavior.”
With a simper, I shove the empty glass at his chest. “I don’t give a fuck.”
He spits insults at my back as I brush past, but I’m not listening to him anymore. Dragging Lilly along, I strain to overhear anything and everythinguseful. Alcohol is flowing; surely, someone will spill their secrets. Knowledge is currency and I use these events to gather as much of it as I can. Who knows when I’ll need to cash in? I’m smiling and nodding along as Kevin, the Youth Director, gushes about the new program when my father returns.
“There he is!” He exclaims with too much enthusiasm. “The man of the hour!”
The hairs on the back of my neck stand on end.
I slowly turn.
My God, no. You were supposed to keep him away from these people. He can’t be involved with them. Anyone but him. Of all the prayers I’ve sent up, I needed you to answer this one.
Silence rings in the chorus of excited chatter.
My father raises his glass, beaming as he ushers the newcomer forward.
“Please give a warm welcome to our new Leader of the Youth Warriors of Christ, Sebastian Holt!”
I was wrong. God did hear me.
And he’s laughing in my face.
Thirty-Five
CADE
Postponingthe inevitable won’t make it go away. You’re feeding the beast. You know the darkness inside you will infect him. Just like it infected me. The only way is to?—
I crank the music louder, but it’s no use. She won’t stop. I’ve been sitting here, on the floor in the middle of my room, trying to text Andrea and Sebastian for the last hour, but she’s so fucking noisy I can’t think. With a growl, I chuck my phone at the gaming chair shoved against the bathroom door. It’s covered in laundry, sketch books and computer parts— a makeshift barricade for if she tries to hijack my body again.
“You’re fucking cracked,” I mutter to myself as I crawl across the paint-stained carpet to retrieve my phone and turn off the music. It’s useless anyway.
Stop avoiding it, Cade.
“FUCK OFF!”
Annnnnd I’m crying again. I curl in on myself, hugging my knees to my chest as sobs shake out of me. “I’m sorry, Mom, I love you, but I can’t, I just can’t.”
I need to get out of here.
Sniffling, I tug the sleeve of Sebastian’s hoodie (that I’m never taking off) over my hands, wiping away tears andsnot. I glance between the bathroom and the door to the hall. It would be quicker through the bathroom, but…
Cade. Stop running from this.
The hallway it is.
Everything blurs as I sprint to Sebastian’s room. It’s like passing through a force field. Her voice dials down to a low hum. I sag in relief, collapsing onto his bed face-first and inhaling his scent on the sheets.
I shouldn’t have left, but I didn’t have a choice. I had to piss so damn bad that I contemplated peeing out the window rather than going in that bathroom. Then, I panicked and ran into my room out of habit.
I’m so tired of this bullshit.
The logical thing to do would be to call Dr. Bedi. And probably Dad. Except logic has left the building. Survival mode is in the cockpit and it’s driving like a madman.
I snort. “Iama madman.”
Silence makes me anxious. And right now, it’stooquiet. I have no idea how late it is, but it’s dark out, so Sebastian should be coming back soon. I think. I check the time on my phone.
