“I think I’ll be recovered by then,” I tell her, managing to roll myself off her but then pulling her close. If I could glue her to my side for the next few hours, I would.
As hard as it will be to say goodbye, I think Kath and I both know that a holiday isn’t the real world. In the real world we live on different continents. I’m studying in Florida, she’s in Exeter. I focus on swimming, she focusses on medical school. We barely manage to carve out the time to see each other once a year, even though I wish it could be more.
We probably should’ve never gone back down this road again. I try to push down the feelings of self-loathing, but they continue to bubble beneath the surface. What if Kath needed me for something and I couldn’t be there? Just like I disappeared when I should have been there for my mum. Who would hate me more for it? Her or myself?
I know we need to talk about all of this, but we only have one more day left, and I want today to be perfect. Anyway, the rules we made when we were eighteen are still in effect, right?
Kath moves closer to my side, and throws a leg over my hips. I tighten my arm around her, willing myself not to slip into a spiral where I over-analyse every word we’ve exchanged in the last week, mining them all for hidden meanings.
“Are you excited to see the others again?” she asks.
“Yes and no.” I absentmindedly twine a strand of her hair around my fingers.
“What do you mean?” she asks, looking at me curiously.
“I prefer it when it’s just the two of us,” I tell her, surprising myself at my own honesty.
She watches me carefully, eyes tracking my face. Then she stands up. “We need to get ready.”
I groan before getting up too. When I look at the girl in front of me I have no desire to go and meet up with anyone else. But then I see how much she’s smiling at the thought of seeing them all again, and I swallow the selfish part of me that wants to keep her to myself.
***
Kath looks beautiful when we arrive at the restaurant Austin booked for us. Her black dress hugs her figure, and the thin straps and dipping front aren’t leaving too much to the imagination. Austin raises his eyebrows at our clasped hands when we approach the table, and I quickly drop her hand before the others notice.
One more night, I remind myself. I’m allowed one more night in my fantasy world before I have to face reality again. And I want to make the most of it.
“How was your trip?” Seb asks as everyone sits down after a round of hugs. “What did you guys get up to?” He turns to Kath. “I don’t know whether Sam was more excited for the Olympics or for your holiday. It’s basically all he’s spoken about for the last few months.”
Wow. Way to throw me under the bus.
“It was great.” I take a sip from my water as it arrives at the table. “We did loads of hiking, went in the sea, relaxed.”
“It was fantastic.” Kath smiles.
“Excellent,” I whisper to her and she grins.
“Some might even say exceptional,” she whispers back.
“What are you two whispering about?” AJ says curiously. “Is this a thing now?” He gestures between the two of us. “Because if it isn’t, it should be. And if it is, I want it put on record that I called this many years ago.”
I reach for a comfortable deflection, but can't find one, so instead I focus on the menu. Luckily, the conversation moves on, but I can feel Kath's gaze boring into the side of my head.
Halfway through dessert I feel her hand land on my thigh, dangerously high up. I choke on my cheesecake.
“Alright there, Sam?” Kath asks innocently, taking a sip from her wine with her other hand. Her left hand keeps inching up my leg. My breath hitches again.
“Yep,” I grind out, giving her a warning look whilst Seb looks over from his conversation with Austin in slight amusement.
“You’re playing a dangerous game, KitKat,” I tell her darkly when the others turn away. “And I’m not sure whether you're ready for the consequences.”
“Oh, I think I’m going to enjoy the consequences.” She grins, and her thumb glides over me through my trousers.
The dinner conversation goes right over my head; I’m too focussed on her hand. When we do leave the restaurant to go to a bar, there’s a bit of strategic repositioning on my part, a lot of deep breaths and several moments of thinking about swimming stats. Which Kath finds hilarious. Of course she does.
When we arrive at the bar I pull her into my lap as we squeeze into the booth and put both her hands onto the table.
“Keep those hands where I can see them,” I whisper to her, as Austin goes to buy a round of drinks.
