“I can’t even describe that,” she murmurs against my lips.
“I think it was superlative,” I whisper against her mouth and she chuckles. “But you’re lucky there’s music playing outside or everyone would know exactly what we were just up to.”
“You think you could stay quiet?” she says, bringing her knee down and twisting in my arms to arch a brow at me.
“Well, I wouldn’t be louder than you,” I tell her with a smirk.
“Are you really sure about that?” Kath reaches for my waist and untucks my shirt. “That sounds like fighting talk to me, and you know I don’t like to lose.”
“I don’t like to lose either,” I tell her, pulling her back in for a kiss even as she starts to work on my belt buckle.
“Well, I’m up for some side-by-side comparison.” She undoes my belt and drops to her knees. “I do like a scientific study.”
My laugh is cut off by my moan.
Chapter 33
Twenty years old
Kath
The next morning, as I pack my things, I’m still humming the songs from the bar. The air feels hazy with leftover laughter and contentment. This week has felt right, like rewatching a comfort film and remembering exactly why it was always my favourite. Sam’s in the shower, but when he gets out I need to talk to him. I want us to finally acknowledge this thing between us, the thing that’s been quietly building for longer than I’ve probably let myself admit. Maybe it’s always been there, waiting for us to notice it.
When I proposed another week of our friends-with-benefits deal I didn’t know what to expect. I’d never stated anything outright, but a small part of me hoped it might become something more. And Sam knows me better than anyone. If anyone could hear what I wasn’t saying out loud it would be him.
The water shuts off, and I hear the familiar sound of him moving around in the bathroom and towelling off.
I take a deep breath.
I can do this.
I’ve been putting it off all week, but we only have hours left together now.
When he steps out, his expression is tight. He doesn’t meet my eyes as he rubs the towel through his hair, and something cold unfurls in my stomach. I know that look. I’ve seen it before, after his mum died, when he threw himself into the pool without a word.
And suddenly I realise that we’re not on the same page. Maybe we never were.
Just like that, the speech I’d been rehearsing in my head slips away like steam on the mirror.
“Want to talk, Champ?” I zip up my toiletry bag and place it into my case, hands shaking.
“Kath… We both know our time is up,” he says softly. He gestures between us. “This has to stop. And… I don’t think we should go back down this road again in the future.”
My fingers clench around the bag. For once, I decide I want to push back. Why does he get to make that decision on behalf of both of us?
“Why does it have to stop?” I ask, frustrated.
Sam’s brows furrow in confusion. “You were the one who proposed ‘only this week’. I thought we both knew this had to end.”
“I don’t think it has to. I know you, Sam. I know what we have.” My heart pounds with the words, but I know I’m not wrong. I’ve seen the way he looks at me. The way we look at each other. I’ve seen it in every careless glance over the last week, from the soft sleepy gazes in the morning, to the heat in his stare before we kiss, or the laughter in his eyes when I tell a joke. And I remember what he said in the club before we left for the Ilha Grande; that he missed the summer we spent together. He wouldn't say that if he didn't feel the way I do.
He's not looking at me, but I continue talking, unwilling to let his fears sidelinewhat we could become.
“I don’t care that you’re so far away. We could do long distance. You have to admit that this has changed from just being friends with benefits into something more.”
Sam doesn’t say anything, and a feeling of doubt inches up my spine.
I cross my arms. “At least, it has for me.”
