“None taken,” I say, understanding what he means. It may have been where my father came from, but I’d never even set foot in the area.The lucky ones don’t.
I’ve been past the estate before, and JJ’s right about it being a separate world. There’s a darkness there, a sadness that seems to seep into the very pavement, and I have no desire to get close to it.
Fitz rubs his face, his frustration palpable. “That poor girl.”
“Which one?”
Fitz sighs, the fight going out of him. “Both of 'em. All those kids.”
The group falls into silence, the only sound is the crunching of crisps and the game on the telly. I don’t know what Finn and JJ are thinking, but I’m thinking about Fitz’s heart, and how big it is. If I know my friend, he's going to try and bulldoze this situation soon enough, try to fix it, try to help this girl from whatever it is keeping her wings bent.
And I’m not sure that’s a good idea. Sometimes, with things like that, trying to help only makes things worse.
I figure now is the best time to make the announcement to my mates, before Fitzy's mind runs him into ruin and he starts getting wild ideas. Besides, I’ve been trying to come up with a way to talk to them all night.
I need their advice, their questionable, probably terrible advice, but advice nonetheless. I need to know what to do about Molly, about the way my stomach flips every time she looks at me, about the way I can’t seem to think straight when she’s near.
I open my mouth with all intentions of asking for their help, of laying it all out on the table and begging them to tell me what to do.
What comes out is: “I think I’m in love with Molly.”
Three heads whip around to stare at me, their eyes wide with shock.
“Christ, lad,” Finn laughs, shaking his head and chomping more crisps. “It’s about bloody time.”
JJ gives me a shit-eating grin, shaking his head. “About time,” he echoes, voice full of amusement. “We already figured that out.”
Fitz just shrugs, a small knowing smile on his face. “We were just wondering how long it would take beforeyoufigured it out.”
“Wait– No– Stop– I didn't mean to say that,” I stammer, my face growing hot. “I wanted to ask for help with... aw fuck. Lads, I don't even know what I'm doin'.”
I bury my face in my hands, abandoning the game controlling, my heart pounding in my chest. I can’t believe I just said that out loud. It’s one thing to think it, another thing entirely to say, to put it out there into the world where it can’t be taken back.
“Mate.” JJ shakes his head. “Nobody does.”
42
Game Day Blues
Molly
December, 2007
SATURDAYS ARE STARTINGto become my favorite part of Ireland.
At home, games were scattered a lot, usually on Wednesdays or Fridays, wedged between school days and homework. At first I thought that a slower schedule would disrupt my training or something, that I’d lose my edge with so much time between matches, but I’m finding that I actually enjoy playing every Saturday—and having every fourth Saturday off.
It isn’t just the adrenaline of the game days that make Saturdays feel like the best part. There’s also the pre-game lunches, the post-game celebrations (or commiserations, depending on the outcome), and the car rides sprinkled throughout the day that I get from Niall.
Those car rides are up there on my list of favorite things, a bubble of just-us-time, where we can talk about anything and everything, or say nothing at all.
Contending with all of that, the rest of the week just can’t compare.
Weekdays are for uniforms, and schoolwork, and practices every other day. Sunday is a wind-down, and usually I spent it doing something with Lorraine (and lately, Mom and Jamie, who things have been getting better with day by day). But Saturdays... Saturdays are for football.
God, if my friends at home could hear me calling it that now...
It’s Saturday, December 1st. The air has a bite to it now, a sharpness that promises snow even though Niall and everyone else has told me it rarely actually snows in Mayville. This game and the one we play on the 15th will be our last games until we go on Holiday break, which lasts until January 20th.
