Wren’s cheeks redden, and she tries to look away, but I squeeze her hand. “No, Birdie. Look at me. I need your eyes on me for this.”
I need her to hear my words and know, without a doubt, they are the absolute truth.
She drags her eyes back to mine, and my chest warms.
“Good girl,” I whisper roughly. “You’re going to listen to me, okay?”
She swallows, then nods.
I have been thinking about this moment for a week. Not just the words I wanted to say, but how I would say them. They’re on the tip of my tongue, but now that the moment has arrived, they feel strangely inadequate. I suspect nothing I could say would ever truly be enough, though.
Still, I must try.
“There are many things in my life I regret, Wren. I got into things when I was a young boy, as most children do. I’ve had interactions with my family I wish could’ve gone differently, conversations I’ve had that, had they been worded differently, might’ve turned out in other, more positive ways.”
I don’t think there’s anything I ever could’ve done to fix things with my father, but I will always wonder if there could have been a way for me to build a relationship with my half brother, Severus. Maybe, if I’d responded to his taunts with kindness and I hadn’t pushed him as hard as he pushed me, things could’ve turned out differently for us.
Maybe, in another life, he and I could’ve been as close as Wren is to her sisters.
I press a kiss to the back of Wren’s hand, returning my mind to the present. My brother has no place in this moment. “But all those pale in comparison to my biggest regret of all: the fact that I hunted you relentlessly.”
Her fingers twitch in mine. “Gabe?—”
“Not yet, Birdie. Let me finish.”
Her lips part, but her head lowers slowly.
“I should’ve listened to you, heard your panic and asked myself why you were so desperate to get away. I should’ve asked questions, talked to you. If I’d tried to understand why you were running from your Giving Ceremony, if I hadn’t jumped straight to bringing you in, maybe things would’ve been different.”
If I’d been paying attention and had slowed down, maybe I would’ve noticed the draw between us immediately. I could’ve saved us from so much heartache if I’d done things differently.
“I can’t go back and change the things I’ve done.” I will Wren to see the earnestness in my eyes. “I can’t fix them no matter how much I wish that were possible.”
Wren exhales loudly, opening her mouth as though to speak, but I’m not done.
“I can’t alter the past, but what I can do—what I promise to do every day between now and the end of time if you’ll let me—is beg for your forgiveness.” I glide my thumb down her hand, knowing this might be the last time I get to touch her like this. I revel in her softness.
“I know I don’t deserve it, and you’d be well within your rights to never pardon me for the things I’ve done, but I want you to.” I clear my throat. “I’m asking you to forgive me, if you can.”
Her pulse quivers beneath my touch, and her breath stutters. “Forgive you for hunting me?” Her voice is a whisper, but it booms in my ears.
I lower my head, contrition tightening my chest. Squeezing until it feels like I will be split in two.
“Yes. And for doing it as long as I did.” For not stopping, not hearing her. “I will make it up to you. Stay by your side from now until I draw my last breath if you’ll have me.”
The longest moment passes, and my mind whirls with all the possibilities of what might happen. Wren might refuse to forgive me, and even though hearing those words would be horrendous, I would understand where she’s coming from.
Ihuntedmy fated mate. Who the fuck does that? Esyn save me, if I were in Wren’s position, I’d probably hate me, too.
“Gabriel.” My name is a mere breath on her lips, and I drag my eyes back to hers. I couldn’t keep them away even if I tried. “Do you really want to stay with me?”
“Of course,” I reply instantly. She hasn’t answered my question about forgiveness, but if she wants to talk about this, I will.
She rolls her bottom lip through her teeth. “You know I’m not safe to be around, right? People die around me, and I don’t think the king will ever give up searching for me.”
Even here, far from Rosebridge, the king’s shadow looms tall. Gods help me, my hatred for him grows with every passing minute.
“Let him look.”
