I always seem to feel that way with Gabriel around these days. In truth, I’ve felt safe with him ever since he killed Hunter Erlet to save me. He hasn’t talked about it much, but I know turning on his oath couldn’t have been easy. And then he went a step further and brought me here, knowing what the rebels might do to him.
Suns, this man. Every time I think I’ve uncovered everything about him, he does something else that makes me look at him in a new light. He cares for me and puts my needs above his own.
No one else has ever done that for me. I never expected anyone to, not when I was going to be Given.
But Gabriel seems to know what I need even before I ask for it.
And I . . .
Burning suns save me, I think I love him. These feelings aren’t caused by our bond. I can feel the connection, stronger than it was before, but it’s not complete.
No, this love is entirely mine. My Mark is pleasantly warm as I bask in this newest truth.
IloveGabriel.
It’s not just because we shared an amazing night, although the sex was great. Nor do I love Gabriel because he’s ridiculously, stupidly handsome, although that truth is undeniable.
I love him because beneath his gruff exterior, he is strong and loyal and caring. When he loves, he does so deeply. Anyone who sees him with Mist would know that instantly. Not only that, but he’s remained by my side through all this. Encouraged me while I learned about my magic. Believed in me when I was frustrated and unsure, reeling from learning more truths about his world.
This man might’ve once been chasing me, eager to bring me to my death, but he’s also made it easy to fall in love with him. With him by my side, I can handle whatever comes next. The onward marching of time doesn’t seem as daunting with him here, and even the steadily approaching Giving Season doesn’t frighten me as much as it would have if I were on my own.
Eventually, I open my eyes once more, smiling as I turn towards Gabriel. He shifts but remains asleep, and my eyes wander over him, drinking him in. His amulet rests on his bare chest, both of us still naked from the night before, and it’s humming faintly.
I’m not sure what causes me to look at his shoulder. It might be a flicker of light from the window behind him or something else, but I glance up.
“What?” The word is a hushed whisper as it leaves my lips, and an alarm bell rings in my mind. I push myself onto my elbow, looking over his shoulder to his back where...
A strangled gasp rips from my lips, and I shove myself up, shaking off Gabriel’s hold. He grumbles something into the pillow, gathering it to him, but I don’t hear him. I don’t hear anything at all because there’s a roaring in my ears as I stare at Gabriel’s back.
His beautiful, muscular back is absolutely riddled in scars. There are so many, I can’t even count them.
A sob wrenches out of me. Someone hurt Gabriel.
A lot.
I’ve seen the scars on his chest, the ones that tell the tale of his life as a Hunter. All soldiers bear marks like that, maps of their training and the lives they’ve lived.
These are not like that.
Methodical and deliberate, long stripes run down Gabriel’s back, some far older than others. They’re layered on top of one another, as though his skin has been ripped apart hundreds of times.
My eyes sting as the reality of the immense pain Gabriel has endured sets in.
I’m not sure how much time passes before a tear slides down my cheek, a trail of pain. Another swiftly follows.
Gabriel was hurting tremendously, and he was hiding this from me. All those times when he slept with his tunic on, when he didn’t want me to touch his back when I was taking care of him...
He didn’t want me to see this.
I draw the sheet around myself, suddenly incredibly aware of my nakedness. I can’t look away from his back. Did he scream when these were inflicted upon him? Did he cry out? Or did he suffer in silence while his body was ripped apart?
My mind is far too quick to supply me with an image of Gabriel’s broken, bloody body on the ground, his back torn to shreds. The image is too excruciating to bear, and tears stream down my cheeks.
How could anyone try to break this man?
I shove my fist against my mouth and bite down on it, trying to stifle the scream crawling up my throat, but a whimper makes it past my lips. Gabriel stirs, lifting his head off the pillow, and he turns towards me.
The moment his eyes meet mine, he knows. I can see it in his gaze; in the way his green eyes widen with fear and... something else.
