She sighed and snuggled a little closer. “I love you, too, Jake.”
“You love me?”
“I do. With all my heart.”
Elation swept through him and just as quickly, fear that he could lose something so fragile so fast. And it was fragile, this new feeling filling him.
He rushed on before she could say anything else. “There’s something I need to tell you about my past. About who I was.” He spit out the words he was certain would ruin everything. “I was a gambler.”
She stiffened against him, then leaned up on her elbow, and looked down at him, her face, in the light cast by the candles, clearly showing her confusion. “What?”
“A gambler. That’s how I made my living these past few years. High stakes poker games where there was no limit on what you could bet. I’ve won and lost fortunes too many times to count.”
Her brows furrowed with questions but before she could say anything, he confessed, “But I think you should know that I haven’t touched a card or made a bet since I came here.”
The admission didn’t help. She untangled herself from his arm and sat up, pushing her hair out of her face. That face, the one he’d fallen in love with, showed the myriad of emotions running through her—confusion, betrayal, anger, love—or what he thought was love—he saw them all in the depths of her eyes and his heart went from being full to shrinking so much that it hurt.
“A gambler,” she repeated, as if trying to absorb the word, then her eyes narrowed and she stared at him, as if she could see into his soul. “How does a gambler end up here, on my ranch?” She sucked in her breath as the full realization hit her. “In my bed?”
He dreaded telling her everything, but knew there was no escaping it now. If there was any hope for a future with her, a future he’d been thinking about, she had to know. “How did I end up here? In all truth, Evie, I was running.”
“Running? From what?”
He hesitated, his gut tightening as the name of the man who could ruin his chances for a happy life tumbled from his mouth, though in truth he was just as guilty. He never should have lied to her. “Not what, but who. Erik King.”
Her frown deepened, pulling down the corners of her mouth. “Who is Erik King?”
“A fellow gambler. Someone I should never have played against.” He couldn’t look at her and see what his confession was doing to her. He couldn’t look away, either. “I knew of hisreputation, but I didn’t know him, never met him. I should have walked away from the table as soon as he introduced himself.”
“But you didn’t.” Her voice became icy with anger, and tears shimmered in her eyes, turning them from light gray to the darker gray of storm clouds building in the distance. “And you lost.”
“Actually, I won. Walked away with enough to buy this ranch twice over.”
“If you won, why did you run?” She shook her head, obviously puzzled. “I don’t understand.”
“Beating him, winning against him was a cardinal sin. At least in his eyes. He became insistent that I play him again so he could win his money back and didn’t like it when I said no, kept saying no, even though I knew the consequences of doing so. King doesn’t play by the rules.” Ashamed of his actions—of hurting her—he reached out to caress her face, but she pulled away. At least, she hadn’t scrambled from the bed the moment he told her what he had been. Knowing how she felt about the profession maybe that meant there was a chance she would forgive him.
“Why didn’t you just play him again? Or simply give him the money you’d won?”
“I offered several times to give him back his money. He refused.” He’d never make her understand how utterly ruthless and unreasonable Erik King could be. “It wouldn’t have made a difference anyway. I damaged his reputation when I won. Hurt his ego. The only way to remedy that, in his mind, was to play him again. I was damned lucky to walk away from him the first time. I knew I wouldn’t be so lucky again. They’d find me, days later, floating in San Francisco Bay with a hole in my chest like so many others who went up against him.” He let out a long sigh, already feeling the pain from the bullet that may eventuallycome for him. Or maybe that pain was caused by the look on her face.
“When Father O’Malley placed your advertisement beside my coffee cup that morning and told me I needed to grow up, to give up the cards and find a more respectable life, I knew he was right.”
“I see.” She scrambled from the bed then, pulling the quilt with her. She wrapped it around herself, hiding her soft, supple body from his eyes. “You lied to me.” She flung the accusation at him, her voice choked. “And kept lying to me about who and what you were, knowing I despise gambling and those who participate in it, knowing what happened to Regina and Javier…and Tom. You lied to me about why you were here. It wasn’t about wanting to marry me at all. You were just…” She heaved in her breath like it was an effort, like it hurt her to do so and then she stiffened, her eyes narrowing. “You used me. Used Montaña del Trueno.” She stopped speaking. Tears sparkled in her eyes. “Was any of it real, Jake? Was it all a lie?”
Jake flinched as she listed the sins against him. He threw his legs over the side of the bed and sat up, his body tense. “What I feel for youisreal, Evie.”
“I don’t believe you.”
That much was obvious and he didn’t know what to say to convince her, but he had to try. “When you asked me why I had replied to your?—”
“Lucy’s.”
“Lucy’s advertisement,” he corrected himself, “I said I was looking for a change. And I was. That much was true. It’s still true. I found that change when I came here, Evie. You and the rest of your family helped me…see what could be.” He paused for a moment before admitting. “I’m still gambling, but not with cards or money. I’m gambling with my heart now.”
“Why are you telling me this, Jake? Why now? After we…after I…after telling me you love me.” Spots of color highlighted her cheeks as if embarrassed by the pleasure they’d found in each other’s arms.
He let out a sigh of resignation. “I do love you, Evie. That’s why I thought you deserved to know the truth. All of it.”
