Sighing, Cody stared up at the ceiling. His brilliant plan to use sex to prove he wasn’t gay had the opposite effect. Of course it would. He was gay and the consequences of his actions had made him spiral out of control. TJ had intervened to try to help, and Cody had made a pass at him because he wanted TJ, but TJ had rightly seen him as the child he was, and Cody had split.
Robbing TJ, he’d left, and his life had truly fallen apart. Some days he marveled at the fact he was still alive, but that gave him the incentive to keep walking. To keep putting one foot in front of the other. To make his life better. One to be proud of, and he was. He was proud of the man he’d become. And now the time had finally arrived for Cody to be with the only man he’d ever wanted.
TJ had no idea what was about to happen.
Chapter Six
TJ
‘Because I haven’t come back for them. I came back for you.’
TJ lay awake in bed as the early morning sunlight filtered through the curtains. His mind replayed what Cody had said, over and over, the look on his face when he’d spoken the words. Strong, confident, mature. Three words TJ would never have used to describe the Cody he’d known. The Cody who appeared to be long gone. Left behind wherever he’d been.
The Cody TJ met last night was almost the polar opposite of the one who’d run away four years earlier. If only Cody had told TJ what Cass had planned for him, he would never have had to leave. A fucking conversion camp. Where the hell had Cass found one and why the fuck would he send Cody? Cody being gay shouldn’t have been something Cass felt shame over. You didn’t get to pick who you were attracted to.
If anyone knew that it was TJ. Years married to an amazing woman, wondering why he couldn’t be there properly for herand their marriage. Why it felt like he held something back. Then one day he met Kit, and he knew the answers to all the questions. He was gay.
He’d been so very lucky that Toni had supported him. Their long conversations often played in TJ’s mind, and he knew not all men in his position were as fortunate. His parents, Toni, the kids. TJ had been one of the lucky ones.
Cody admitting why he’d left did ease some of the worry TJ had. He’d long thought it had been his fault that Cody had run. That him telling Cody nothing could happen between them after Cody’s attempt to kiss him had made Cody leave, which reminded him of what Cody had said the night before.
‘Because I haven’t come back for them. I came back for you.’
Those words, spoken confidently with a surety that seemed strange coming from Cody. Cody had come back for TJ. TJ knew what Cody meant and he wasn’t ready to face it. Cody was younger than him. Far younger. Twelve years younger, and they were practically family, and they had history together. TJ had known him as a teenager. Watched him fall apart and had been unable to stop it from happening.
TJ’s alarm blared, and he grunted, rolling over to switch it off. A long fourteen-hour shift ahead, but work would become easier now that Taylor was returning. A bad break after a fall off his horse had kept him off work for three months. For the last month Taylor had rung up begging to return, then trying to get TJ to order the doc to let him come back to work. Taylor didn’t do well cooped up inside.
Throwing the covers back, TJ stared at his erection, then stood. He needed a shower, and he’d deal with it there. Only could he, with Cody in the house? Now he felt awkward and quickly showered, ignoring his wilting erection. Once dried and dressed, TJ quietly left his bedroom and tiptoed downstairs toput the coffee machine on. As it gurgled away, he stared outside, listening to the calls of the wildlife as the world woke up.
The sun shone, the birds called, and mornings like this were perfect as far as TJ was concerned. Spending a few minutes outside, coffee in hand, breathing in the morning air, always started the day off right, and TJ needed it that morning. Cody had returned. For him, apparently. TJ didn’t know how he felt about it. Cody had changed. Taller, broader, intense, focused. Gorgeous. But TJ wasn’t going near that thought. Blowing out his breath, TJ sipped his coffee and struggled to reconcile the Cody from last night with the Cody he knew from the past.
Cody used to have long, greasy, dyed blond hair. A terrible out-of-the-box job that looked horrendous. Skinny, too. So thin TJ winced when he saw him, scared he wouldn’t survive a bad cold. Short as well. Shorter than him, barely reaching TJ’s shoulders. Dirty and smelly. TJ had heard many arguments when it came to Cody’s lack of personal hygiene and his apathy to do anything about it.
That all evaporated when Cody had stood up the night before. Taller than TJ, broader, stronger. He was repeating himself, but he couldn’t comprehend the changes. Not yet. TJ worked out, but it had been apparent Cody did as well. More than TJ, going by the muscles Cody had. His black hair shone under the lights. Thick and healthy. So different from what TJ had last seen. His deep blue eyes held an intensity TJ had never seen before, no longer dull, lifeless, bloodshot.
The physical changes were nothing compared to the mental and emotional ones. Cody even felt different. TJ would sense the old Cody enter the room, waves of animosity emanating from him. The Cody from last night had none of those. There had been an intense quietness to him. TJ hadn’t even realized Cody had been in the kitchen with him. It wasn’t until he’d made a sound,one TJ was certain had been made for his benefit, that he’d been aware someone else was in his house with him.
With a shake of his head, TJ finished his coffee, cleaned his mug, and placed it in the sink. He glanced upward when he heard movement, then checked the time and softly exhaled.
‘I came back for you.’
“I came back for you.” TJ repeated the words quietly, knowing the context in which Cody had spoken them. He’d come back for TJ. That awkward kiss Cody had given him had meant something to him when he’d been younger. He’d had feelings then and clearly had them still.
Grabbing his things, TJ left the house before Cody came downstairs. He wasn’t sure he could handle him just then. His reappearance had thrown TJ, but those words had affected him more than he’d realized.
“TJ.” TJ slowed on the path and faced Cody, who stood by the front door. “Don’t tell anyone I’m back. I’d like to do that myself.”
Nodding, TJ hopped in his truck and started the engine, pulling out of his drive. At work, he kept busy, and when a call from Crompton came through, TJ eagerly took it. It was the distraction he needed. His mind constantly jumping to Cody. Comparing old and new.
When he reached Crompton’s farm, TJ saw Crompton waiting by the gate, baseball cap on, eyes narrowed. “Got the little bastards.”
“Hello to you, too.”
Grunting, he held the gate open. “When you get to my age, you don’t bother with that shit. In the house, I got the camera thing set up for you to look at.”
TJ followed Crompton inside his house and ignored the brewing setup. TJ knew about the setup in one of Crompton’s barns, so this must be another. How many others existed that TJknew nothing about? They’d had many conversations about it, and it had gotten TJ nowhere. Everyone knew what he did, and as long as he caused no problems, TJ let it go.
“Trying a new brew if you’re interested. Peach vodka. Or something that tastes like it. Almost blew my head off.”
