“He asked me to live with him once the house built and I said no. I told him he was only eighteen, with his life ahead of him, and that we could go slow, and then he dumped me.”
“Oh, you fucked up.”
Santino frowned. “Me? How did I fuck up when all I was doing was putting him first? He is only eighteen and has had a shitty upbringing.”
“Let me get this straight. He’s old enough for you to fuck but not old enough for you to attempt to have a meaningful and long-lasting relationship with? Did I get it right?”
“I… no. Well, no, not really. That isn’t it…” Santino trailed off, then winced. “Fuck.”
“Pretty much. Some days you appear to be accepting of your relationship with Orsen, then you do something like this, andI have to question who the adult is between you both, because right now that would be him. He walked because he can see you don’t believe you’ll have a future together. I agree with you that he is young, but take it from someone who is in a very happy relationship with a younger man that some of them do know their own minds and do know what they want.”
“Cody is different. Your relationship with him is different.”
“How?”
Santino opened his mouth, then closed it. “He’s not as young as Orsen, for a start, and he had a rough time.”
“Yes, he’s a couple of years older than Orsen, and yes, he had a horrific time when he was younger. Most of it self-inflicted. Though I doubt he would see it that way. He takes that horrendous time as being something he needed to endure to be the man he is today. He took something destructive and shaped it unto something positive. Orsen has done the same.” Santino heard TJ sigh, then he said, “I hear them talking sometimes. I hear what Orsen went through, and it staggers me that he can be the person he is today. He looks to the future with a positive mind, sees only the good in people when he’s only known the bad. He makes the decisions in his life, and he wanted to include you in it, and you threw it away because of his age and experience that you have based on your age and your experience.”
“It’s because of my life and experience that I know—”
“Repeat that to yourself in your cold, lonely bed tonight.” TJ hung up and Santino threw his phone onto the sofa.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Orsen walked into Tea for Two? and saw Cody in the corner. He spotted two drinks on the table, along with some cake, and went over. Taking his coat off, he put it on the back of the chair, then sat. He stared out of the window, then sighed.
“So, what now?” Cody asked once Orsen had settled.
“I love him, but he only sees a child. I’m not a child. I haven’t been one in years. I don’t even think I had a childhood. He sees my age and then puts me in a box labeled ‘child’. It really fucking annoys me.”
“It must. I can’t remember the last time I heard you swear.”
“I don’t see the point of swearing all the time. Only when necessary, and that’s now. I’m so angry with Santino.” Orsen leaned on the table and hissed, “I gave him my virginity and he still sees me as a child.”
“We need to do something to show him you’re not.”
“Like what? We’ve had sex! We’ve had lots of sex, and I’ve stayed over at his house, and I showed him where I’m going tobuild my home. And I’ve told him things, and I made him food and I talked to him…” Orsen narrowed his eyes. “What more is there? Tattooing his name over my heart? Stupid man.”
“Maybe not that extreme.” Cody’s eyes lit up. “I know. We should go to a club in the city.”
“Er, slight problem there.” Orsen pointed to himself. “Eighteen?”
“Pfft. Like that will stop us. I might know some people who can get us in, so don’t worry about that, but back to what happened between you and Santino. Tell me what he said.”
Orsen sighed and filled Cody in, pausing when Cody muttered, “Idiot.”
Shrugging, Orsen sipped his coffee. “Maybe he’s right.”
“Do you want to date, Orsen? Go out with other men and see how a relationship works with them?”
“Did you date?”
“No,” Cody laughed. “I fucked. The only man I have dated is TJ. He’s the only man I have ever wanted.”
“But I can’t feel the same way about Santino? Because of my past or my age or whatever else he has going on in his head?”
“We’re men. We can be dumb as shit sometimes.”
