The bigger of the two looks at Randy, then directly at me. “From the look on your face, I assume you don’t know who we are. I’m—”
“Riggs and Ash!” Glen practically shouts. He’s completely starstruck. “We know who you are. Everyone does. I’m Glen, by the way.”
“I’m Damon. So cool to meet you.”
“And I’m Randy. How about that pic?”
“Sure, if I can make a call with your phone after. Deal?”
“Wait,” Rhonda says. “Which one is Riggs, and which one is Ash?”
“I’m Riggs,” the bigger guy says, “and this is my brother, Ash.”
Apparently, they’re famous, and somehow Rhonda and I have never heard of them.
The two men take a moment to stand on either side of Randy and squeeze close with bright, toothy smiles, like they’ve done fan photos a million times. Glen takes the picture, then he jumps in, replacing Randy while Damon snaps his shot. Damon gets his picture taken with them too,and when the photo session is done, Randy hands his phone over. The big man, Riggs, puts it on speaker, dials a number, then holds the phone between him and his brother.
“Hello? Where did you get this number?” a woman barks.
“It’s us,” Riggs says.
He actually flinches at the sound of her voice—but why?
“You two are dead! Fucking dead!” the woman shouts like she can breathe fire. “Where the fuck have you been? Don’t answer that. I don’t fucking care. Where the fuck are you now?”
Oh, that’s why he flinched. It makes perfect sense now.
Ash leans down to the phone. “It’s all Riggs’ fault. I swear I tried to stop him. I really did, but he wouldn’t listen. He wanted to go snowboarding at the Antelope Lodge here in the Shasta Mountains, and he didn’t give a damn about you, me, or any of this. I’ve been trying to get him to come back to LA with me, but he just keeps hitting the slopes saying he needed more ‘me time.’ I don’t even know what that means.”
Riggs shoots his brother the meanest look I think I’ve ever seen, but Ash just shrugs with a silent laugh while trying to look innocent. To that, Riggs shakes his head with a huge eye roll.
“Holy fuck, Ash, do you think I’m stupid?” the woman roars through the phone. For some reason I’m picturing a ten-thousand-pound dragon with huge teeth and even bigger claws. She sounds downright scary. “I know exactly what you two dumbasses have been up to,” she continues. “Are you fucking kidding me? Do you have any idea what kind of hell you’ve put me through?” She pauses to bark somethinginaudible to someone at her end then she’s back with, “Here’s what’s going to happen. I’m going to make it look like an accident. I’m going to have an alibi. Months from now, when the snow melts, they’re going to find parts of your bodies all over that fucking mountain! What the fuck is the matter with you? And I mean both of you!”
Riggs points at Ash with a crooked grin and mouths, “Busted.” For a big guy with a rugged exterior like a giant grizzly, he has an adorable, childlike way about him that just makes him even hotter.
“Well,” Riggs says to his sister, “you can murder us later, but right now, we’re at this ski resort and we have no money, not even our wallets, and no phone. What do you want us to do?”
There’s an awkward pause, then in a more subdued tone, she says, “Okay, go to the resort. I’ll book your accommodations and set it up so everything is charged to your rooms. I’ll wire some money. But don’t you fucking go anywhere. I’ll make some calls and see if I can salvage this mess. I have an idea, and if it works, you two owe me big time.” Suddenly, her voice lowers and goes icy cold. “And I’m talking real big. Do you understand?”
I can almost hear the theme music to The Godfather playing in the background. Pretty sure this woman is my new hero.
“Yes,” both men answer sheepishly.
“Thanks, sis, you’re the best,” Ash adds nervously in a kiss-ass sort of way.
These two giant men are clearly terrified of her. That’s so interesting, and I can’t help wishing Josh and Keegan respected me like that.
Riggs hangs up and hands the phone back to Randy.
Ash’s shoulders relax as he turns his attention to us. “A ski resort, you say? The kind with bourbon?”
Never one to miss an opportunity, Rhonda perks up and holds out her hand. “Oh, honey, let’s get you cleaned up first, then I’ll show you around.”
A mischievous smile spreads across Ash’s face as he extends his arm. “I like the sound of that, pretty lady. What did you say your name was?”
Rhonda’s cheeks flush at the “pretty lady” comment, but that doesn’t stop her from wrapping her arm around his. “I’m Rhonda. So, you’re a bourbon man?” She makes a very calculated move that brushes her chest against his massive forearm. Damn, she’s good. Then, looking up through her eyelashes, she playfully says, “I like bourbon. Hope you’re not a lightweight.” Her lips go pouty as she drops her voice to a sultry tone. “Because it would be so disappointing if you couldn’t keep up.”
Clearly taken aback, Ash stops and eyes her for a moment. Then that melt-your-heart smile appears again. “Rhonda, darling, where have you been all my life?”
