I have my own reasons why, but now I want to know why she thinks so too.
Maddie:This next year is going to be rough for my mother, so I really need to stay focused on her. You seem like a great guy, but you would complicate my life if this went any further, and being in Vegas with you sounds like the kind of thing that could lead to thosefurther things. I just don’t have room in my life for that right now.
Riggs:Would you prefer it if we stopped talking?
Maddie:Maybe. I’m not sure. I loved our conversation last night. What you were telling me about trying different foods for my mother was invaluable. But this Vegas thing kind of has me freaking out. I was okay with being friends, but that was when I thought I’d never see you again. I probably sound like a total bitch right now. I’m sorry for that, but it’s how I feel.
I’m about to do something I shouldn’t, but it’ll be for her own good. She’s going to need me over this next year. Ash, Elsie, and I went through our mom’s cancer together, so we were there for each other, but it sounds like she only has Rhonda. And while they may be best friends, there’s no way Rhonda can help her the way I can. Part of me feels like it’s not my problem and I should walk away before both of us get hurt, but another part of me feels like I can keep this the way it is—as just friends. Besides, I can’t walk away even if I wanted to, not when my brother is dating her best friend. As long as that lasts, we’ll keep crossing paths.
Besides all that, the real truth is, I don’t want to walk away. I like her, and I know what this next year is going to be like. As her friend, I want to help.
Riggs:Let me ask you something. Do you plan on cutting Rhonda out of your life to make more time foryour mother?
Maddie:No, of course not.
Riggs:As your friend, how am I different? I have a feeling Rhonda will insist on you coming. If you do, nothing has to change between us. We can be just friends, I promise. You were honest with me, and I appreciate that, so I’m going to be honest with you. I like you, as a friend, and I think you’re going to need me as things progress with your mother. And because I like you, as a friend, I really want to be there for you. I think I’ll be able to help in ways you’re not anticipating right now.
She doesn’t respond. As the seconds tick by I figure she either has to think it over or she’s trying to come up with a polite way to tell me to get lost. It’s a coin toss.
My phone finally pings.
Maddie:Just friends. You promise?
Riggs:Cross my heart.
Maddie:Thanks. I’ll let you know what I decide. And thanks for being so understanding.
Riggs:That’s what friends are for. Talk to you later.
CHAPTER 18
Maddie
I’m going to hell.
He said he appreciated my honesty, but I was lying my ass off the whole time. According to every Sunday-school manual ever written, that earns you a one-way ticket to Satan’s playground.
To be fair, it was a lot easier to tell him I don’t have time for a relationship because of my mother’s illness. What would he think if I told him I’m never, ever letting a guy into my heart again? I would have sounded like a frigid bitch destined to have a dozen cats and just as many vibrators of every type, shape, and size imaginable. Speaking of which, I really need to get a vibrator. And a cute little kitten sounds kind of nice.
Oh, for goodness’ sake, I’m already that woman!
I put that thought on the back burner, or rather, the place in my mind where it will float to the surface when I’m trying to go to sleep. One day this week it’ll keep me up. That’s a given. Stupid brain. Sometimes I wonder if it’s really my friend or only pretends to be when it wants chocolate.
Ijust got home from the most amazing vacation ever, I’m tired from all the travel, and the mess in the kitchen is the worst I’ve ever seen. Dirty dishes are piled everywhere. I really don’t care about a trip to Vegas, because right now, all I care about is how to get away with murder. Would anyone even miss my brothers?
Yep, I’m going to hell.
The dishes can wait. Seeing Mom can’t.
“You’re home,” she says when I step through her doorway. “Come give me a hug. I’ve missed you.”
I drop my bags and lunge for her. It feels so good to have her in my arms again.
After a long minute, I let her go. “What have you had to eat today? Let me guess, tomato soup?”
“I like tomato soup.”
Hmm, she likes the tangy taste of tomatoes. I haven’t made lasagna in forever, mainly because she doesn’t normally like it. I wonder if that’s changed. “If I made lasagna, would you try it?”
