As my eyes scan the rest of the pictures, the third photo sends a flutter through my stomach that has me wondering if the bottom of the plane just fell out.
I glance around like I just pulled a nude picture out of my wallet, clutching the evidence against my chest. But everything is normal. The flight attendants are a row up, passing out cans of ginger ale and tiny bags of pretzels. The woman to my right is snoring following the extralarge pill she took as soon as she sat down.
I turn toward the window and hold the strip of photos up to my face again. I remember taking the picture, remember tracing the line of Ren’s jaw, the way his eyes fell to my mouth, the way I could feel every place our bodies touched, how it made me a little dizzy.
Deep in my belly, an old feeling bangs against the cage I locked it into years ago, shouts that if the flash hadn’t gone off, I might not have pulled away. That some alternate version of us might have stayed in that photo booth.
“Ma’am?”
I startle, jostling the arm of my sleeping seatmate. She doesn’t so much as blink. The flight attendant is smiling down at me expectantly.
“Sorry,” I say, throat dry. “Just a water, please.”
“Coming up.”
I shove the pictures back into the spine of the book and slam it closed. Tell myself that if the book was going to catch my attention, it would have by now, that it wasn’t work or my moving or anything else that had been getting in my way.
I won’t try to read it again.
thursday
chapter seventeen
“Open up!” Fists pound on the doors from the house to the screen porch, stomping feet accompanying them. “Rise and shine!” Sasha shouts.
I bolt upright so fast the blood rushes from my head.
“Wake up!” Stevie calls. “It’s my bachelorette today!”
I feel hungover without having had anything to drink the night before, the room slowly coming into focus, brain moving sluggishly. As I stand, Ren is stirring in his bed, the heels of his hands pressed to his eyes, and last night comes flashing back to me.
His hands on my waist.
My back against the tree.
His breath on my neck.
“We’re coming in!” Sasha shouts, her final warning.
“I’ve got it,” I say to Ren, who’s in the process of swinging his legs over the side of his bed. I just need to do anything but look at him.
“There you are!” Sasha says once I open the door, throwing her arms above her head like she’s at the Eras Tour. “It’s time to go!”
She and Stevie barge in past me, Stevie walking over to flop across my bed. I glance over my shoulder at Ren. He’s sitting on the edge of his bed, hair messy from sleep in a way that makes my pulse hike.
Get it together, Joni.
“You need to get ready too,” Sasha says to him, kicking his ankle. “Leo and Thad are in the kitchen.”
“Great,” Ren says, but he doesn’t move. In fact, he seems dazed, like he’s still dragging himself out of sleep.
But then his gaze suddenly flicks up to mine, alert, and I realize I’ve been staring at him. I shift my attention to the dresser, pull a swimsuit and shorts out of the drawer. “Give me five minutes,” I say to Stevie and Sasha. “I’ll be right there.”
“I’ll pack the car!” Sasha says, hurrying back inside, Stevie close on her tail.
I’m almost to the doors, going in to change, when Ren says my name. The slight gravel in his voice flutters down my spine.
“Yeah?” I say, turning back. Only a few feet separate us now.
