"Right. Yeah, okay. Thanks." Laurie watched Briana return to the table with her friend, and although he knew he was frowning, he also couldn't help admiring the view. Not just that she had a terrific ass, which she did, but the way she moved through the crowd with unshakable confidence. She wasn't rude or pushy, but people got out of her way, and even Laurie's bear was a little swoony over that.
She should be a bear, too,it said with a deep sigh.She would swat anybody who annoyed her.
I'm pretty sure goats manage just fine, too.Laurie got their drinks, served them, and went back to work with theuncomfortable feeling that he no longerwantedto 'go do his thing,' as Briana had put it. He had no idea how to win her over, but he was pretty sure hooking up with other women wasn't the answer, and worse, it didn't even sound very appealing.
Great. He'd known his fated mate for like five minutes and she'd already ruined his life. That wasn't how it was supposed to go.
She hasn't ruined your life,his bear said placidly.
Sure feels like it!
Your mate can't ruin your life,the bear informed him.We're our best selves, with our mates.
But she doesn't even want me!
His bear considered that a while, and finally said,Then you must not be your best self, yet. But it's not your mate's job tomakeyou better, either.
Yeah, but—Laurie actually threw his hands up, which was a strange thing to do in the middle of a busy tavern when there was no visible argument going on.How can I be better now that I already know she's my mate? She won't trust anything I do! She'll think I'm just trying to get with her!
The bear went quiet long enough that Laurie had time to mumble apologies for his weird little physical outburst and to get back to work. Eventually, though, the bear spoke as if it had been thinking about it all for a long time.You are not a bad human,it finally said.You know that, right?
Laurie, under his breath, said, "Well,yeah." He wasn't a bad human. He did know that. Maybe he was a little self-centered and preoccupied with girls and glory, and maybe he kind of needed to be kicked in the pants to get his act together, but hecouldstep up. He did, when it was clear he needed to. He just didn't do it as a matter of course.
…and that was obviously at least part of the problem. Laurie even glanced toward his brother a little guiltily. Their cousinAshley reallyhadread them the riot act a couple years ago, and Jon had taken it more seriously than Laurie had, which in turn probablyhadhelped ensure Jon would hit it off with his own fated mate. Alis, a dedicated swordswoman, would have had no time for Jon if he'd been out there acting like a flirty fuckboi, and Laurie would have thought that was totally reasonable of her. And unfortunately, Laurie could see the parallel there all too clearly.
Worse, aside from Ashley yelling at them and Jon sharpening up about working the main pub, Jon himself had laid down the law with Laurie on a few things last year, including about being the brother who did the fight circuit. Granted, the opportunity had arisen because Laurie hurt his knee, but he hadn't expected Jon to actually insist that the circuit last summer behis. Laurie knew he'd kind of hogged the fights for himself for a long time, and even knew that helethimself pretend he didn't know Jon was envious, becausehewanted to do them.
That wasn't a very flattering light to see himself in, and Laurie muttered, "Dammit," out loud.
His bear gave a big heavy shrug.You're right. Your mate will always know you had to…It paused again, searching for the human phrase, since this wasn't an issue bears faced.To 'step up' to be worthy of her. But if you do, then she'll know you thought she was worth it.It went quiet again, like it was struggling to deal with thoughts that didn't normally bother it, and finally, slowly, it said,You could choose not to, though. If you wanted to keep being exactly who you are right now, then Briana would never stop you. She would accept who you were without asking you to change.
Yeah, but she doesn't want to have a relationship with me as I am! If I keep being who I am, I'm not going to have the amazing relationship my brothers and parents all have with their mates!
True.
Well, how is that fair? What have I done to deserve that?
His bear eyed him and Laurie had the abrupt sinking feeling that the question itself reflected what exactly he'd done to deserve it. The bear, apparently satisfied with that level of introspection on Laurie's part, seemed to agree.Fate is notwrong. But it's not always easy, either.
It should be! We're both shifters! It should be just—happily ever after!
Except Laurie was a self-centered, shallow player, and although he'd heard Briana say it, and had admitted it to himself and even to his brother, it was still really just starting to sink in that he wasn't going to get away with that for the rest of his life. Not if he wanted to meet his fated mate's standards.
His bear was right. He could choosenotto step up, and could go along in his happy little shallow life. But he would always know there was something better out there waiting for him. Assuming Briana would wait all that long anyway. Somebody else would fall in love with her, for sure, and while it might not be fate, there was nothing stopping her from falling for that someone else in turn. True humans lived without fate all the time, and Briana evidently preferred that to having a mate who didn't impress her much.
Laurie already knew it was going to be difficulttoimpress her. Already knew he didn't know how. Had just learned the hard way that being flirty and nice by bringing drinks down to the smithy wasn't the answer. And he certainly wasn't going to impress her by winning at the fights, since he'd lost so badly he wasn't even in the running anymore. Not that winning would have impressed her anyway.
"Yeah," he said aloud as Peasblossom rushed by and asked him to take over her table. "Yeah, I got it. Everything okay?"
She gave him a sunny smile. "Everything's fine, thanks for checking. I've just got a show in twenty minutes. You should come see it!"
"I will if I can get away. Maybe not today," Laurie said with a glance at the late-afternoon crowd. People were flushed with heat, and the air was so muggy it felt heavy, like there were storms coming, although there wasn't a single hint of that in the endlessly blue sky above the mountains.
Peasblossom smiled again. "Thursday will be quieter, you can come then. Thanks, Laur, you're a decent guy." She hurried off, leaving Laurie wryly wishing that Briana Gilson had heard her say that.
Chapter 7
"Well?" Dahlia said as Bree came back to their table. "What'd he want to talk about?"
