Panic attacks.
Not sleeping.
Can’t function.
The letters look jagged and uneven. I hand it back before I can change my mind.
A few minutes later, a woman in her forties with soft gray streaks in her hair appears in the doorway. “Melody?”
My heart jumps.
“I’m Dr. Harris,” she says, offering a small, reassuring smile. “I’m really glad you came in today.”
Kodi looks at me. “Do you want me to come back with you?”
My instinct is to say no. To isolate and shrink myself.
But the idea of sitting in a room alone and speaking the things I’ve locked inside feels like stepping off a cliff.
“…Yes,” I whisper.
Kodi squeezes my sleeve in reassurance.
Dr. Harris nods. “That’s perfectly fine.”
The office is warm and quiet. There’s a couch and a box of tissues already within reach. I sit stiffly on the edge of the cushion, taking the hem of my shirt between my fingers.
Dr. Harris settles into a chair across from me, her posture open. “Before we talk about anything hard,” she says gently, “I want to make sure you’re safe right now. Are you having thoughts about hurting yourself?”
The question is direct and careful. It makes my chest tighten, but not in panic.
In honesty.
“I don’t want to die,” I say slowly. “I just… don’t want to feel like this anymore.”
Dr. Harris nods. “That makes sense. We can work with that.”
Work with that.
For the first time in months, something inside me shifts. I’m not fixed or healed.
But I’m not completely hopeless either.
Chapter thirty-five
Melody
Two Months Later
Happy birthday. We miss you.
Istareatthescreenof my phone, waiting for something. My blue bubble is nestled among the other ones I’ve sent over the months, still unopened. It’s the same song and dance.
I send at least two messages a day to Kaden’s number, and they stay in delivered status. There isn’t even a whisper of a reply on his end. I’ve tried calling a million times. Saint’s phone number no longer works, and Ivan’s goes straight to voicemail. Kaden’s rings, but he never answers.
I scroll through the other messages I’ve sent, each one making my gut turn sour and bitter.
Thinking of you.
