I’m still searching for pieces of Kaden in everything, but I can never find that edge I’m reaching for. It’s sad that over a year later, I’m still so messed up over him. I guess that’s the joy of having your first love rip your heart out and stomp on it like it means nothing to them.
“Hey, Melody,” Dylan says thoughtfully.
“Hmm?”
“Thanks for coming out with me tonight. You made everything better.”
My chest warms as my heart does something it hasn’t in over a year. It picks up.Thumping.
I scan my keycard on our way up to my dorm, an old memory resurfacing of the night Kaden carried me home from The Hunt. The thoughts are still painful, but I don’t feel like my chest will cave under the pressure anymore.
Baby steps.
As I’m swiping my card at my door, Kodi swings it open. Dylan lifts me higher, smiling. “Special delivery.”
My best friend laughs, shaking her head. “I told you to make sure she didn’t get too drunk.”
I reach a hand out to her, smacking her across the face by accident. “Oh, I’m sorry. Maybe I am too drunk.”
“Am I dropping you here or in your bed?” Dylan asks.
It’s chivalrous of him. He never just assumes or takes. He’s kind that way.
“Here is fine,” I mutter. “I may puke before you make it downstairs.”
He lets me slide down as we get caught up in each other. His eyes are a deep brown, almost amber. His jaw is sharp and defined, and his hair mussed.
He’s handsome.
“Um,” he pulls back, scratching at the nape of his neck. “I’ll see you tomorrow for our study date—I mean, study meeting. Meeting? Uh—”
I snort, slapping a hand over his shoulder. “You’re so dorky.”
He chuckles, his cheeks heating with embarrassment. “Not an ounce of swagger in my bones, huh?”
My mirth dies down as a flurry of thoughts flickers through my mind.
When was the last time I felt this close to someone? So connected.
When was the last time I even considered love an option for me?
Kaden.
It all died with him.
But he isn’t dead. And he sure isn’t here anymore. If he’s choosing himself, then why can’t I finally let go and pick me for once?
“Dylan, wait,” I stop him, grabbing his wrist. Before he can question, before I can talk myself out of my bold move, I lift up on my toes, and my lips crash over his. He goes still, blinking down at me before melting. His arms wrap around my waist, and he tugs me close. Our lips move experimentally, every motion testing and new.
He doesn’t taste how I expect. Because what I expect is something that I can’t have.
“Learn to let go and embrace change,“ Dr. Harris’s voice whispers across my mind. “Even if it scares you.”
This is far different than kissing Kaden. It’s new. That doesn’t make it bad. It makes it an experience worth chasing.
When we pull away, Dylan breathes heavily, his cheeks flushed as he brushes my hair behind my ear. He looks like his world has just been brightened before his very eyes.
And I feel…content.
