“Your mother? You’ve never talked about her before.”
I shrug.
“What’s there to tell? I’m sure you’ve heard the stories. She went crazy.”
Annika was silent a moment, then she nodded.
“I’ve heard the stories,” she admits, “But those are usually a little far from the truth.”
I bow my head, nod as another flash of emotional pain ripples through my chest.
“I miss her,” I whisper. “Or at least who she used to be before she lost her mind. I understand why Pyotr left with her and I sometimes wonder if I had gone with them if maybe…maybethings would have turned out different. Maybe we could have gotten the mother that used to love us back.”
Understanding shined in Annika’s eyes.
“I know what it’s like,” she whispered, “To miss someone before they’re gone. To wonder if you could have done something to make it all different.”
I cock my head as I study her.
“You do?”
She nods.
“For me it’s my mother too. I sometimes find myself wondering what would have happened if I, or Papa, Valya would have noticed something earlier by just a year? If we could have got her cancer treatment started sooner. I can’t even begin to imagine what you and Pyotr went through with your mom and I understand that you and I have completely different situations, but towards the end? With all the meds she was on and the chemo? My mom was a different person. And people say you only remember the good after someone’s gone, but for me I remember it all. The good. The bad. The strange mood swings. The lack of recognition.”
Annika was right. Our situations are different but damn if they don’t sound eerily similar. I feel myself being pulled to her. To her empathy and understanding. Her grace.
“Come here,” she whispers, and before I can move she’s straddling my lap and wrapping her arms around me.
I let myself sink into her embrace and inhale her scent deeply; comforted by both, and suddenly I’m exhausted.
“Thank you,” she whispers, placing gentle kisses on my ear, “For telling me.”
“Devochka,”I whisper, feeling my throat grow thick with emotion as her gentle kisses trail from my ear, over my jaw and to my lips. When she reaches them I place my hand on the back of her scalp, cradling her to me. Our kiss is deep, sensual, and I feel all those heavy thoughts start to drift away.
Then I feel her hips sensually roll against mine, and I’m reminded that my erection is still aching for attention. I break the kiss, muttering a curse, and press my forehead to hers, struggling to do the right thing and not ravage her.
But she cups my face and raises her lips to my forehead, placing a kiss there so gentle that it makes me shiver.
“It’s okay,” she whispers softly, gently grinding her hips against me again. “It’s okay.”
“You don’t feel well,” I struggle to say, my muscles spasming with growing need. “I don’t want to hurt you.”
“Shhh,” she coaxes softly, gliding a hand down my chest and to the waistline of my sweats. “You won’t.”
Her hand reaches beneath my sweats and the moment her fingers wrap around my cock, I let out a deep groan.
“You took such good care of me earlier,” she whispers, placing soft kisses along my brow as she frees my cock. “Let me take care of you.”
I should stop her. I know I should, but as she guides the swollen head of my cock to her entrance and I feel her warm petals slick with desire, I give up my fight. She slowly slides herself down on me in one smooth, sensual motion, and stars burst behind my eyes.
“Fuck,”I breathe, overcome with how good she feels. I lean my forehead into her shoulder and she cups the back of my neck, holding me there as my arms twine around her back.
Annika rides me slowly, and for the first time ever, I feel no need to take control. Instead I simply give in to how her warm, tight, soaking walls clamp so deliciously tight around my cock and let her set the pace. Long, languid moans pour from both us as we both draw close to release, and I’m in such a haze I can barely gather myself enough to kiss her. I’m not sure if minutes or hours pass as I’m enraptured by her bliss, but when I cum, it’s the most intense release I’ve ever had.
Annika’s orgasm follows only a second later, and her sex grips me so tightly I start to release again. We stay locked togetherlike this, sweat-slicked and panting, and I feel like my mind go blissfully blank.
“Annika,” I pant, but I don’t say anything else. Words are impossible to fathom. So instead I kiss her, deeply, and hold her as tightly to me as I possibly can.
