“If it’s a girl, we could name her after your grandma.”
Devon nods but doesn’t really engage, like he’s thinking about something else.
“You do still want kids, right?” I ask, anxiety creeping into my voice.
Devon glances at me and blinks. “What?”
“Kids,” I say. “Do you still want kids?”
Why isn’t he interested?
Devon shrugs. “We don’t need to talk about that for a while, right? We said we’d wait until our careers were on track.” He waves a hand around us, showing the house. “I mean, we’ve got the house, but it’s not exactly cheap. Imagine adding kids to the mix—financially I mean.”
Until our careers are on track? I’m a struggling writer—I can’t guarantee mine willeverbe on track.
I cross my arms. “You haven’t answered the question, Devon.”
He looks at me and sighs. “I want whatever you want, baby.”
A prickle of annoyance picks at my chest. Is that a no? Every time we speak about this, I get the same answer.
Whatever I want.What about what he wants? You don’t have a baby because your partner wants one. You need to be just as invested and committed to being a parent.
“I’m thirty-two,” I say carefully, chewing on my lip. “I would love to be a mother, rather than wait around to be rich.”
Devon groans. “I know, but we agreed we would be in the best financial place we could be, right?”
“Yes, but?—”
“Once I’ve got my own business, we’ll be raking it in. I’ve got my business degree, and a little money from what my grandad left me. But I just need to find the right place, learn a few more things…”
I feel for Devon. He just wants to support his family in the best way he can, and he wants to be the best parent too, especially after his dad took off when he was just a kid.
“I don’t want our kids to go without anything, baby. I want to do this right.”
I soften, leaning into him. “I know. But it feels like it’s never going to happen.”
Devon looks down at me, his brow knitting together. “My business?”
“No, the whole kids thing.”
Devon pulls me close.
“It will. On that note, I need to talk to you about something.”
I look up at him, and he licks his lips, which he always does when he’s nervous.
“Oh?”
“You know the conference, the one that sold out within seconds of it going on sale?”
I frown. “The one in New York?”
“Yeah!” Devon shifts so we’re able to look at one another directly. “Well, Ross has a spare ticket, and he’s asked if I want it.”
A feeling of dread curls in my stomach, but I don’t know why.
“When?”
