“Do I? I asked you to come home. I gave you the chance to be honest with me. And you lied. Again."
"I was trying to protect you?—"
"You were protectingyourself!" The truth burns. "You weren't thinking about me, Devon. You were thinking about whatyou'dlose ifIknew."
I’m suddenly conscious of my weight. I’m too fucking fat for him. This is what caused this—he must’ve been sick of being with a fucking fat mess.
I grab my keys from the counter. My wallet. My phone.
"Jade, please don't leave. We can work through this?—"
"I believed you." My voice is hollow now. "Last night, when you were fucking me, I believed every word you said. I let you touch me, thinking we were healing." I meet his eyes. "Do you have any idea how that feels? To know you were lying the whole time? I’m sofuckingstupid.”
Devon reaches for me, but I'm already walking toward the door.
"Jade—"
"I'm going to Katrina's."
"For how long?"
I stop with my hand on the doorknob and turn to look at him one last time—the man I've loved since I was eighteen years old. This stranger wearing my husband's face.
"I don't know."
Then I walk out, and I don't look back.
Chapter Seventeen
DEVON
The door closes behind her and the house goes silent.
I stand there like a fucking statue, staring at the space where my wife was standing seconds ago.
She’s gone.
Jade is gone.
My legs give out and I sink to the ground, my back sliding against the kitchen cabinets until I'm slumped on the floor. The same floor we picked out together three years ago, arguing over which kind of wood would hide scuff marks better.
I press my palms against my eyes until I see stars, but I can still hear her voice echoing in my skull.
You fucking kissed the woman who laughed at my sunburned skin. Who made constant jokes about my weight.
I didn't know. How did Inotknow? All those years in high school, Mila smiling at Jade, acting friendly—and behind my back she was tearing my girl apart, the fuckingbitch.
My girl.
Is she even mine anymore?
A pitiful sob escapes my throat, and I hate it. I hate how pathetic I am, sitting on my kitchen floor while my marriage falls apart because of my stupid fucking decisions.
I should get in my car, drive to Katrina's and beg Jade to hear me out.
But what would I say? What defense do I have?
I kissed another woman on our anniversary. Then I lied about it. While Jade questioned herself, while she wondered if she was losing her mind, I let her believe she was the problem.
