And I just let her go.
I let her leave with the divorce papers, signed and ready to go. I’d signed my house away. I’d givenmylife away for hers. Of course, I did.
I broke into a million pieces at my mother’s kitchen table, a shadow of who I used to be, my head in my hands as my heart slowly deflated.
Warm arms encircled me, and I didn’t look up to see who it was. I didn’t need to—you knew the smell of your mother.
“Stupid, stupid man,” she whispered, her throat clogged with emotion. “But you did the right thing there. I’m proud of you for that.”
And I cried.
19
LILA
He’d signed the papers. All of them. I couldn’t believe it—I was getting a divorce and listing my house for sale—all because of that stupid bastard and hisdick. I was distracted and had wandered away from the realtor currently looking around my home, when she bounced up to me.
The woman had endless energy, and I suppose at twenty-something years old, I would’ve too.
The realtor smiled at me, her immaculate platinum-blonde curls dancing as she looked around my home with an air of enthusiasm I wished I had.
“This house will sell quickly. This area is highly sought after—especially by young families. Being so close to the elementary school really helps.”
I smiled, wishing I gave a shit. I just wanted the ‘For Sale’ sign up, so I could leave all of these bad memories behind.
“It’s beautifully decorated,” she continued, gazing around the room. “It’s neutral too, and people love that when they’re viewing. They can really see themselves in here, you know?”
Neutral. Perfect.
“Can you do all of the viewings?” I asked, surprising myself. I didn’t want to see happy couples looking around my home, with their cute kids and aspirations and dreams.
No thank you.
“Of course,” the realtor replied, picking up on my tone. “I’ll need a set of keys and any alarm codes.”
I reached down for the spare set I’d had cut when I’d changed the locks and handed them to her. “There’s no alarm.”
“Well, I’ll get back to the office and get this listed as soon as possible. I’ll be in touch.”
She left, her stiletto heels clicking on my floor and finally, the door closed behind her. I exhaled, my shoulders dropping.
I hadn’t expected this part to be so taxing. It was exhausting having a stranger in my home.
We’d loved this house when we’d bought it. We’d planned to have children, but it just hadn’t happened for us. A pang ached somewhere deep in my soul, the distant memory of wanting to be a mother so badly still haunting me. I’d come to terms with it, as most women had to when it didn’t happen for them.
Victor had really wanted kids. I used to wonder whether the problem was with him or me, but we’d agreed to just let nature take its course and not pursue other avenues.
Thank god wedidn’thave any; I couldn’t imagine going through this with a child in tow. Or worse still, children.
I’d probably kill him.
Oh, Victor, you stupid fucking idiot. Why did you do this to us?
A lump rose in my throat at the thought of him at his mother’s table when he’d signed the paperwork. Buthedid this—I didn’t make him fuck some tramp.
My skin prickled and my teeth ground together at the thought of him with her. What he’d said to her. Rage flowedthrough me so strongly my fingers twitched, and it was then that I spied my laptop.
Greece.
