That prick of a boss never liked me.
I grabbed Mom’s laptop and started a job search, feeling like I was carrying the weight of the house on my shoulders. Everything felt so heavy lately, and I only had myself to blame.
Sex with Cami wasnothingcompared to being with Lila. But it had made me feel wanted, and Lila hadn’t. Shitty excuse, I knew, but it was the truth.
Cami wasn’t Lila—she never could be, even if she tried. But I wasn’t looking for another Lila—Ihadperfection. She just hadn’t wanted me.
I bowed my head, then focused on the one thing I could control: a job. When the house sold—damn, it hurt to even think about—I could put some money down on a new place. Nothing like that house, of course, but fuck. My own place, where I didn’t have someone calling me a prick constantly.
I pushed away thoughts of my wife tanning on a beach without me and began applying for jobs.
I had to. Or I’d lose my mind.
21
LILA
Iwas in love with Greece, and I’d only been here a week. The air was fragrant and warm, carrying possibilities and positivity, as far as I was concerned. The hotel was beautiful, overlooking the sea which glistened beneath the scorching sun. I had taken to sitting on my balcony in the early mornings, sipping coffee and then heading into the little town for a spot of breakfast. Orange juice and what was known as a ‘full English breakfast’ hit the spot most mornings, but I would also pop into the Greek bakery for sweet treats when the mood struck.
And that struck regularly. What did they even put in these delicious treats?!
I loved it here. It had soothed my fraught soul, and the locals were so friendly and entertaining—from Giorgios, who ran the hotel, to Dimitri who ran the bar, constantly showing us guests his magic tricks. It was simple, and perfect.
Best of all, there were no memories here. Nothing to haunt me. I pulled on my swimsuit and frowned at the fit—I must be eating too much because it seemed to be getting tighter. Then again, ithadbeen drying in the sun on the balcony most days,so maybe that was why. I sighed and adjusted it, noticing the tan line I already had.
I grabbed my things and headed out of my room into the sun, the chirping crickets greeting me along with a swell of heat. I almost stepped back into the safety of the cool room, but Ineededthe pool. My stomach growled, reminding me lunch was also needed.
I slipped my air pods in and began humming along to my music, enjoying the warmth of the sun on my skin. The sky was pure blue, not a cloud in sight. As I neared the pool, I noticed the pool boy waving at me. I slipped an air pod out so I could hear his voice calling out hello in that beautiful accent.
“Hello, pretty American lady!”
I laughed, shaking my head. “Hello, Kostas.”
He grinned at me and shook his head, his black curls moving with it. “You look as beautiful as Aphrodite.”
A smile twitched on my lips. “The goddess of love?”
I tossed my towel onto a vacant sun lounger beside an umbrella, feeling grateful. Lots of guests had left yesterday, but Kostas said to expect more tomorrow. I wanted to make the most of the space while I could.
“Youarehot.” Kostas commented, appearing at the bottom of my sun lounger.
Did he just call me hot?I peered at him from beneath my wide-brimmed hat. “Sorry?”
“Your skin looks red. Hot.” Kostas gestured to my face, and I flushed, which probably didn't help.
Oh, fuck.Of course, he wasn’t hitting on me.How embarrassing.
“Oh! Yes, very hot.” I fanned myself even though he could understand me perfectly well. I plopped down on the sun lounger and exhaled heavily. It had only been a short walk from my room to the pool, and I was exhausted and overheated.
It must be the perimenopause. I blame that fucking thing for everything.
I made a mental note to book in with the physician when I returned home. Maybe it was time to try HRT or something—I couldn’t carry on like this.
I must have drifted to sleep because the sun shifted position, and I could feel my skin burning.
“Damn!” I muttered and sat up, my face on fire. I smothered my face in suntan lotion—far too late for that—and went to the bar.
Dimitri beamed at me as I approached, then his face fell.
