“Is your job still cash-in-hand?” I asked, shaking my head at her.
Cami’s mouth dropped open, my hidden threat received loud and clear.
“Keep away from us.”
“You’re a fuckingasshole. I hope she leaves you for good, you pathetic old man.”
I watched her go inside, slamming the door so hard the doorframe shook.
I took a deep breath and turned around, aware of an old lady watching me from across the street. She ducked back inside when she saw me looking at her, another door slamming into the morning air.
Well, fuck.
That was Cami told, at least. The woman had no decency, no respect for herself or anyone else.
I needed to see a therapist for fucking her because something was wrong with me. She may have been pretty, but in that skanky way that I’d never normally find attractive.
Was I that weak? That fucking insecure that the minute my wife didn’t want me, I turned into some horny old man?
Maybe Cami was right—Iwaspathetic.
I balled my hands into fists, furious at myself for ruining everything I’d taken for granted. And that video—fucking hell,that video—it would haunt me and no doubt Lila, forever.
Icouldcut my cock off. I would if it meant Lila would forgive me.
Ha. She’d probably make me do it too.
I grinned at the thought of Lila’s fury, even when aimed at me. She was a hundred times better than me, that was for sure.
I waited at the bus stop until one finally showed and stared listlessly out the window as it rolled down the streets. The streets were dead at this hour, but I saw the odd family grabbing breakfast through the windows of the homes I went by, and I couldn’t help but feel jealous. But these men hadn’t fucked up their lives, had they? They treated their wives like fucking queens.
As they should.
I switched buses, moving onto the second of the three I needed to take to get to work. I yawned, missing driving like fuck.
Only another year to go before I could drive again. My kid would be born by then, and I couldn’t even drive them home from the hospital.
What a fucking shit stain I was.
My phone beeped, and I dug it out of my pocket, expecting to see an abusive text from Cami.
Instead, my heart flipped, butterflies exploding in my chest. Only one person had that power over me.
Lila: I’ve changed my mind. You can come to the scan, if you still want to. I’ll send you the details.
Oh, my fucking god. I rested my head on the headrest, a smile so wide it nearly split my cheeks.
Still want to? Fuck yeah!
My fingers trembled as I replied to her, telling her that I would absolutely love to, and thanking her so much that she probably rolled her eyes.
I was going to be there the first time we saw our baby. Lila wouldn’t be alone, and even if she didn’t care about that, I did. Because even though I’d screwed us up, I still loved her more than anything in the world. The way I cared about her scared me. If anyone hurt her… I closed my eyes and shook my head.
She was divorcing me and selling the house. It wasn’t my place to want to protect her, but I still did.
Always would.
Terry found me later that afternoon.
