I couldn’t show any weakness. Not a scrap.
“Victor,” I said, tugging my hand free of his. “You are here because it is financially beneficial to both of us. If you are going to keep doing this?—"
“Doing what? Telling you I still love you? That I still find you so attractive you’re all I think about? That we’re having a baby together, and we could’ve had everything?” His voice cracked. “Because that’s all that goes through my mind. All day, every day.”
I inhaled sharply. His words struck a chord deep inside of me, and I wanted to punch him and kiss him at the same time.
“You know all I see?” I whispered, stepping closer. I stared into his eyes. “You fucking her when you were married to me.”
His eyes swirled with sadness and guilt, his head bowing. “I know, baby.”
“Do you?” I snapped. “Because I’ve only ever been faithful to you. Loyal to you, and only you.” I shook my head, pulling my lips between my teeth so I didn’t cry. “I never even noticed other men. Even when I felt like shit, and we’d sleep with our backs to each other, I never thought of another man. But you?”
I dragged my gaze down him, my lip curling in disgust. “You fucked someone else. Repeatedly. And now you want me back? Now you want to fuck me?”
“Lila, don’t.”
“Don’t what?” My chest heaved, the emotion and toil of my words burning me to death inside.
“Talk about us like that,” he said, his eyes flashing.
Oh good, some anger. Good. Bring it, Victor, because I will throw it right back in your fucking face.
“No?” I laughed, the sound strange and high pitched.
“No.” Victor stepped closer. “Because you’remine, Lila. My wife, my best friend, my fuckingeverything. Now you’re going to be the mother of my child, and I’ve never wanted you more. But don’t ever talk about us like all I want to do isfuckyou.”
I stared at him, my hands trembling.
How dare he speak to me like this? Like he has any fucking right?
“It is, though! Itisall you want to do! I see the way you’re looking at me?—”
“Because you’re killing me! Look at you.” He waved a hand over me, and I shook my head, tears spilling down my cheeks. “You’re beautiful. Inside and out.”
“If only you would’velookedat me before. When I was yours—when I was your wife and your best friend. Because now? I’m nothing to you.Nothing, and you’re nothing to me,” I cried, shoving him in the chest.
His eyes filled with tears as he backed away, his fists balling beside him. “Yeah? Well, you’ll always be something to me. I won’t stop fighting for you. For us.”
I scoffed, scrubbing my wet cheeks with the heel of my hand. “Don’t waste your time. I certainly won’t.”
43
VICTOR
I’d lost my shit with her.
I couldn’t help myself—the emotions of the day hung round my neck like a padlocked chain, dragging me to the floor every time I tried to move forward. Then she was so beautiful—my stunning, incredible wife, carrying our baby. I watched her sleep today, and fuck me, I wish I hadn’t. I’d wanted to crawl into bed beside her and spoon her, falling to sleep with my wife.
But what had I done? Made us dinner because I knew she’d be hungry, then I’d gotten hard when she’d started moaning over the food.
Yeah, explain that shit.
I hadn’t thought about sex in weeks. But Lila did something to me—she always had, even when she’d practically found me repulsive.
This was so fucked, the whole situation.
I heard Lila moving around upstairs, and honestly, I wanted to go and ask her if she still loved me—to see if she could look me in the eye and say she didn’t. But I’d already pushed it too far, and after today, we both needed some time to reflect and sleep.
