“Good, little girl. I knew you’d see the light.”
30
Maggie
Shivers wrackmy body as I travel back down the mountain. It’s weird because I’m totally numb. In a different part of my brain, I note that I’m in shock. Driving is probably a bad idea.
Several miles later I pull over to throw up on a patch of wildflowers.
“Just my body, not my being.” I’ve been repeating the words over and over.
What happened back there has the power to make me feel worse than that hotel room all those years ago. I can’t allow it to. And yet.
I can no longer disassociate from my body. It does mean something. My bodyismy being. I did this for Roe. I’m healing because of him. He’s done so much for me. He’s taken care of me from the beginning. Even when I didn’t want to accept his help. From the first time he put his coat around me to the conversation this morning. He’s shown time and time again what trust is. What a healthy relationship feels like.
This sacrifice will be worth it. I have to believe that. My mind cannot drift back to that cabin. It cannot think about the promises I made. I especially can’t think of the way Zebulund touched me. Just to prove he had the power. Just to see how far I would go.
I swallow down a gag. I can’t pull over again. I don’t have time.
This is the same road that’ll take me to Roe’s house. As soon as I get reception, I call him. He doesn’t answer. It goes straight to voicemail. I leave him another urgent message.
“Call me as soon as you can.” I don’t want to say too much in the message. Just in case. “Please. Call me. Before you do anything else.”
He has a late shoot so I race to his house. I’ll wait for him there. There’s no way in hell I’d ever work with that man. Not a man. Garbage dressed in a suit. I’d grovel and lie all day if it meant Roe was safe, but I would never fucking work for him. I begged him. I shake the image from my head. He forced me to look up at him. Made me subservient to him. I promised myself I would fight to bring him down and there I was begging to work for him. How? How did I get to this point?
My phone buzzes but it’s O.G. I don’t want to hear how right he was. I don’t want to do anything until I can clear the air with Roe.
Everything will be okay because justice will prevail. I’ll make things right. I’m not keeping secrets. I’m trusting him. I made a stupid choice to go up there without him, but I’ll make it right. I’ll make everything okay.
I don’t know when I start crying, but when I get to Roe’s house tears stream down my face and my chin won’t stop quivering. I suck in a shaking breath and knock on the door.
“It’s open,” Roe calls.
A relieved sob coughs out of me at the sound of his voice. It’ll be okay now. We’ll work this out together. I did what I had to do to protect him because that’s what you do when you…
I stop in my tracks… When you love someone.
I love James Roe. It’s painfully obvious now. Why else would I beg like that? Why else would I let that monster think he’s won? We’ll figure this out together. He will tell me everything will be okay.
He’s at the kitchen island. Head down and not moving. There’s still flour on the counter from this morning. Pancakes and kisses give me hope. For the first time in hours I don’t feel covered in slime.
But then I really look at Roe and the smile falls off my face. He’s hunched over a tablet, reading something. His hand is fisted in his hair and the other is gripping the back of his neck.
He looks up at me and I know in that second something is wrong. Something is very wrong. His eyes are bloodshot and his eyebrows are twisted with fury I’ve never encountered on him.
“You knew about this?” He slides the tablet to me.
It’s my column. The familiar heading and cartoon avatar. The date reads today. But I haven’t turned in a story in weeks.
“This doesn’t make sense. He promised me—”
My hand covers my mouth as I read, “Hollywood Hero Steals from the Poor.” It’s an exposé on James Roe and the company he’s embezzling from. All the details that O.G. shared with me are highlighted in bold text.
My world implodes.
31
Roe
