I hate that my stupid fragile heart still holds out hope. I shut my eyes against the images that bombard me. When I open them he walks to the microphone with that familiar mask in place, the one he uses when he addresses anybody.
Anybody but me.
Right before he speaks, his eyes lock on mine. No stutter. No hesitation. It’s like he’s known where I am this whole time. My heart skips. No surprise, but his face changes. It goes from solemn to determined.
Of course, he sees me.
He’s always seen me.
* * *
Roe
Maggie smiles at me.It nearly melts my determination. What have I ever done to deserve that beautiful, kind smile? I almost forget why all these people are in my yard. I want to run up to her and wrap my arms around her. I want to inhale her and tell her how much I love her.
But she’s here because of my machinations and I can’t hold her until I undo some of the pain I’ve caused her.
Zebulund and Nancy walk outside and stand behind me. I hate that she sneaked inside and heard that conversation. More lies and deception. Not that I actually saw her. I can feel when she’s near me and right before I left, the merest shimmer started to appear. I know it was her. It’s why I left so quickly—I couldn’t handle seeing her until I know she’s forgiven me.
I clear my throat. “We’re ready to get started.”
The crowd silences. I wait for the lights on the cameras to blink to life. My gaze alternates between them and the crowd, but it drifts to Maggie without my meaning to. I’m always seeking her out.
“I grew up poor,” I begin when the producer gives the sign. “Far below the National Poverty Level. Poor beyond what any child should have to go through.”
So far, I’m on script. Garner sympathy with a tragic backstory.
“It caused me to believe that at any moment all that I’ve earned would be taken from me. Even with all my success these past few years, I was convinced that I didn’t deserve any of it. I was just waiting for someone to come along to take everything from me. To point out to the world that I’m a sham. Poor, uneducated, undeserving of everything that has happened to me. Because it’s impossible to reconcile this life with the life I knew.”
Maggie frowns at me. Maybe because she knows I never open up about who I am and my deepest insecurities, or maybe because she doesn’t understand why we’re all here.
“The day I met Maggie May, I thought I met the person who would ruin me.” I take a breath. “I was right.”
Still on script, I see the moment Maggie swallows what I’ve said. Her skin shimmers like she’s struggling not to go Under. Mrs. Jenkins holds her in place, God love her. Mrs. J. shakes her head and Maggie stays sitting, her expression thunderous.
“Maggie has ruined me. Ruined me for the image of myself I had in my head. Ruined me for living a lie. Ruined me for hiding out.” I smile at her as her frown melts into confusion. “Ruined me for any other woman in the world.”
Her hands cover her mouth. I’m officially off script. In my periphery Zebulund shakes his head. I’m sure he planned for my betrayal. I pray he didn’t have time to hurt anybody else I care about.
While I can I carry on. “Maggie has shown me not only what true strength and beauty are, but what character really means. I’ve never met anybody so motivated by justice. I was barely surviving when I met her. It didn’t take long for her to save my soul.”
I clear my throat, because yup, I’m getting weepy.
“Maggie.” Half the crowd turns to look at the person I’m addressing. “I love you. Thank you for making me understand that I’m strong enough to walk away from all this.”
Her eyes shine.
“Thanks for not only showing me what strength is but showing the world what true courage is.”
Zebulund keeps his face stoic and whispers in my ear, “I’m done with your little lovefest, Roe.”
“Just wrapping up.” I give Zebulund the same winning smile he’s given to me and so many others, time after time, right before he fucks them over. I hold up a finger and turn back to the audience.
“But I digress. Let’s get to the true reason we’re all here.”
Maggie’s eyes widen when I say, “Anybody who has been abused by Marty Zebulund, please stand.”
Without hesitation the entire audience stands.
