“It’s okay.” He held me a minute longer and I blinked up at him.
“I’m sorry. I’ll get that signature. I promise.” Even as I said the words, I knew I wouldn’t be able to come back from this.
“You understand what’s at stake here don’t you?”
“Yes.”
“That’s my girl.” He kissed the top of my head and pushed me toward the room.
“Give him a minute. I’ll bring him to you,” Occum said.
I glanced to see that Titty Teddy was back at the table and the two were lost in conversation. I’d lost my chance to warn him. Any hope of talking to him was gone.
My heart hammered against my chest. I wanted to stop stripping. I wanted to dance on my own stage. But I didn’t know if I could do what I needed to make that happen. I just prayed Clifford Rutledge would sign off because I had no other options. Every step brought me closer to a line I never thought I’d cross. But this was my life. My choices had all led me to this point. There was no changing those facts without doing what Occum asked. I had to live this role a little longer if I wanted to be someone new.
But it didn’t change the fact that with every step toward that room, I felt like I was giving something of myself away I could never get back.
* * *
Clifford
I had scared off Bouffant only to realize that I hadn’t even been invited to woo investors in the first place. I had been invited to be bought off. Again. This reeked of bikers, not academia. My head fell back. The moment I saw the passionate dancer, I should’ve known I was wrong about everything. Had I really thought she wanted me? That it was just a coincidence to see her again? I’d let myself hope, and that was my first mistake. I wished I’d left with Jack.
Buffount returned a few minutes later surprising me from my musings. He smiled and held up a fresh drink as he settled into the same relaxed position as before. I felt his gaze flick to me several times.
This night could still be rectified if I could just be a smoother talker and try to convince him to invest in my research. We sat in silence a while longer. I debated what the proper course of action was when the dark-haired dancer reappeared. Occum had backed her toward the bar; her face was pale but there was a stubborn set to her chin.
Instantly, my heart hammered against my chest. My slumping posture morphed into rigidity as I tried to casually watch their interaction without seeming obvious.
“That’s Short Fuse Suze.” Ted grinned knowingly at me. I cleared my throat. “Go talk to her. She’s a girl just like any other,” he said.
I studied the full beer I held. “I, Uh.” Suze. That’s her name. I hadn’t expected that. Ridiculous.
“She won’t bite. Unless you pay extra.” He chuckled.
“I wasn’t—I—”
“I saw you. She’s a real looker. She’d be putty in your hands if you talk all that academic mumbo jumbo to her.”
I shook my head not able to think clearly, embarrassed at having been caught staring. His large hand engulfed my shoulder and shook it until I made eye contact with him.
“Listen, girls like that don’t have a lot going on upstairs. A couple of four-dollar words and she’ll do anything you ask. If you catch my drift.” He winked at me.
“A girl like her?” I fought to keep my face neutral.
“You know, fine as hell but dumber than a box of rocks.”
“How do you discern that just by looking at her?”
He gave me a patronizing look. “She isn’t dancing here tonight because she likes the workout. Some girls play to their strengths.”
Rage spiked my adrenaline but I held it at bay. Hearing the typical preconceived notions from this man had me unaccountably furious. “She’s likely a product of her upbringing. She’s just as capable as anyone here to make something of herself.”
“Right.” Ted snorted. “And I sprout wings at night and fly around town.”
“She was not given the same opportunities as you and most of the men in this room.”
“Now listen here, I made my own fortune. You hear me?”
