Boy, they were in for it with me. I could already see Jack chasing me around with a bottle of Lysol. I ran my hand over the granite countertops that were modern but still managed to fit with the whole vibe of the place. There were little details everywhere I couldn’t get over, like tiny potted plants, colorful pieces of art, and appliances I didn’t recognize. Who knew people lived so low-key classy?
“What’s this?” I pushed down on a handle in a glass jar and it came apart. I made a face and set it down.
Jack smiled. “A French press. Makes for better coffee.”
I nodded, impressed as I examined all the things. I eventually made my way back toward the guys. “Where do we start?”
“Clothing,” Ford said. “We will go clothes shopping as soon as possible.”
“I don’t need any new clothes.” My cheeks burned.
Maybe he had extra cash for things like that. It’s hard when every extra penny you earned went to a motorcycle club or your bottomless father. I chewed on my lip.
Jack flicked a glance at me and then back at his roommate. “You know, I bet there are plenty of places to find super cheap clothes, like Goodwill.”
I made a face, I couldn’t help it. I had champagne taste on a Coors Light budget.
“The mall will have better options. It won’t cost too much. Maybe a couple hundred tops,” Ford said.
“Oh, is that all?” I snapped.
Maybe Mr. Fancy-Pants could drop that sort of money without thinking but I wasn’t able to. I felt my blood start to boil. I was about to French press that coffee maker on his face.
Ford must have picked up on my sarcasm because he finally glanced at me. I stood with my arms crossed and I’m sure I appeared about two seconds from a fight.
“I forgot to mention that all fees incurred during this experiment will be covered. The clothes, the books, whatever we need to purchase, is all part of the experiment fees.”
Jack and I stared at Ford. Then at each other. We were mirrors of open mouths and wide eyes. We turned in unison back to Ford. “How am I just learning this?” I asked.
At the same time, Jack asked, “How much?”
Ford frowned, before providing a staggering number. Like a month’s worth of shifts at the club.
When Jack and I looked at each other again, we were smiling like demons at an orgy.
“Well shoot. Let’s go shopping.”
* * *
Jack tagged along when we left the house, which was totally fine because I liked him more anyway. He was funny and nice and he didn't look at my tits like they should be under a nun's robe. He was the opposite of Ford in every way. It was amazing they got along so well.
Jack suggested an ice cream stop for fuel before shopping. We went to this place where they spread your ice cream out onto frozen marble and scraped it up with what looked like a paint scraper to make these little rolls of ice cream. I thought it was sort of a rip off because they were rolls of ice cream for more money instead of a whole cup. But Ford paid using Rich Dude’s money and it tasted clucking good.
“I think I like yours the best,” I said as I dug my spoon into Ford’s cup. It was a chocolate something or ‘nother and it tasted like the German chocolate cake from Donner Bakery.
He made a sour face and slid it away from me. “Well, you wanted the peanut butter disaster, so you have to eat that. Also, it’s impolite to just dig into other people’s food.”
“Oh, excuse me.” I rolled my eyes.
Jack was enjoying his sherbet with gummies. It sounded gross, but just to put salt in his grits, I dug my spoon into his and made a big show of eating it.
“Mmm.” I licked the spoon with way too much tongue and groaned. “Sticky and sweet.”
Ford frowned and his leg started jumping up and down. I smiled at Jack and he laughed into his cup shaking his head.
“Please take your elbows off the table and sit up straight,” Ford snapped at me. “If we’re using research money, we’re using this as an opportunity to learn.”
“Fine.” I did as he told me and sat ramrod straight. I crossed my ankles and pushed my knees together like when I went to church as a kid. I started to fan myself and put on a thick Southern belle accent, “Oh me, oh my, I just cannot contain myself around such handsome specimens of men.” I ran my hand down each of their arms and made big ol’ doe eyes.
