Suzie
My soul was lighter. As I swiped at my makeup with Ford’s handkerchief, I felt cleansed like I had just taken a long, hot shower after a perfect performance. Poor Ford got the brunt of my emotional breakdown but it was so nice to get it out. Being back in this town after being at Ford's place and living a different life was harder than I expected. I drank too much. I felt too much.
Seeing Cletus Winston on stage reminded me of a different life and of all the ways I wasn’t Sienna. It wasn’t that I was hung up on Jethro; it was just that I never knew when I would feel like a woman. Not a good time girl.
But Ford had held me. He’d even made a little joke. A smile split my mouth. I looked up to the stars sparkling bright. I did miss this view back in the city. The air smelled crisp and fresh like fall. I was changed. Reborn. What a silly thing to think just from a good cry. Ford needed like twenty good cries—poor guy was so pent up.
“Look who it is.”
My head snapped back down and immediately my instincts went on edge. Fear pulsed from my toes to fingertips. Out of the tree-lined darkness, appearing like ghosts, came two dark figures.
“Who’s there?” I stepped back toward the light of the community center.
They stepped under a street light. It was the same two bikers from the Iron Wraiths, Rooster and Cueball. The same two that found me wherever I went. My heart raced. Now I knew it wasn’t a coincidence. My first thought was, “Please, God, don’t let Ford come back out here.” I wanted to run up the stairs but too much movement too fast would trigger them; I just felt it. I took one slow step backward up the cement stairs.
“Just us. Don’t worry,” Rooster said. Soft in the face with his red beard growing in patches, his eyes had that gleam of someone who wasn't quite right.
I took another step backward, smile fixed in place, but they came forward suddenly. Cueball moved behind me blocking the door and Rooster put a hand on my arm. The scent of cigarette smoke and stale whiskey overwhelmed my panicked senses.
“Hey, boys.” I smiled sweetly despite the fear screaming in my head to run.
Best to not upset them. My other hand felt around to open the door but Cueball grabbed it. What if Ford came back? What if he wasn't coming back for me at all? What if my display of emotions made him cagey? My palms grew sweaty.
“Short Fuse. This is getting out of hand.” Rooster picked up some of my skirts and fisted the material. “Who you tryin’ to fool, honey?”
Cueball spat behind me.
“The music’s only playing for a little longer. If you want to go dance, y’all better go in now.” I kept my voice light.
“Dancing sounds great.” Cueball yanked my waist from behind and ground against me. “We wanna see what we’ve been missing.”
It was violent and vulgar. His belt buckle and hardening cock pressed into my bottom. I wanted to scream. They weren’t teasing at all. This time they were here to prove a point. They weren’t about to leave until they got what they wanted.
Rooster’s breath was vile as he said to my face, “Come on, now. We just want what’s owed us.”
Cueball flipped me to face him.
“Far as we see it, you owe Razor. We get to collect,” he said.
I was spun from one to the other as they each ground their pelvises at me. I was dizzy. Too much dancing and whiskey and terror. Bile crawled up my throat. I didn’t want this. I didn’t like this. There was a time when I could go with the flow just to get it over with…but not now.
“Get her, Cueball. Remind her where she belongs.”
“I’ll teach her a lesson.”
“You can take the trash out the trailer park, but you can’t take the park out of the trash.”
“I’m here with someone.” I was running out of options. New fears flooded me. I tried to push myself out of Cueball’s grip.
Rooster stepped closer now, holding me still. “Come on, Short Fuse. We can share.”
“We have before.” The other laughed.
I felt shame then. For my spiral out of control after Jethro. For using bodies and drugs to forget the emptiness inside me. Before I told myself it was my choice, but to see it through their eyes…it was too much. I needed them to leave. They had to go before Ford came back. Ford wouldn’t be able to talk to them, wouldn’t be able to try and rationalize with them. He’d make it worse. I couldn’t let him see the person I really was.
Rooster didn’t let me go. Instead, he gripped my hair, pressing bobby pins into my skull from the fancy hairdo that only hours ago had made me look sophisticated. How ridiculous to think I could ever be more than this. My eyes watered as I shook.
“Oh, you like that? You getting all wet for me baby?”
