“I guess I sort of check out too sometimes. But I go in the opposite direction.” I scratched the back of my neck. “When I was younger, I’d get mad and it was like a switch flipped. The anger just took over.”
“Wait, are you serious?Youlost control?”
I huffed a laugh. If she knew even half the truth. I was nothing more than the rest of the trash in her life. “Yeah. I had—my home life growing up wasn’t great.”
She raised an eyebrow. “I know you were a foster kid but for some reason,” she shrugged, “I got the impression you were rich.”
“Hardly. Look, it’s late.” I glanced at my watch. “Well, early. We should get some sleep. I have a lot of work to catch up on today.”
“Okay.” She studied me until I fidgeted.
I let out a breath, afraid she was going to pry. I appreciated that she told me about Jethro, but that story was rainbows and kittens compared to my childhood. I was half out the door when she grabbed my hand. She stood on toes to grab my face gently. She pulled my head down to hers and kissed my cheek. She ghosted a kiss on my forehead, then my lips, soft and quick. I felt it. Everywhere. Instantly.
“Thank you again. I don’t know what I would have—”
I cut her off. “I’ll always protect you if I can.” I closed my eyes for a second to think. “I’m sorry I left you alone out there. If I hadn’t left…”
“If you hadn’t come back.” She corrected. “That’s all I care about. You came back.”
She needed to know that people should fight for her. People shouldn't call her stupid. Labels were a self-fulfilling prophecy and she hadn't had a chance from the start.
“Okay.”
“Goodnight, Ford.” She walked out of the bathroom and turned off the light, leaving me in the darkness.
“Goodnight.” A thought jumped into my head. “Suzie, wait.” She was just a shadow in the dark hallway but her footsteps came to a stop. “Jethro Winston is an idiot.”
“Unfortunately, he’s not. Him and his kin are good people. It would probably be a lot easier if they weren’t. I hate that I got him at his worst, but I’m glad he found happiness.” Her steps retreated until I heard her door close softly.
I closed my eyes and shook my head. I wanted Suzie to have everything. I wanted her to have somebody who could give themselves to her one hundred percent. I could never be that person for her. I could never let go of control completely.
“UT Professor Arrested for Felony Assault and Battery.”
The night could have gone so much worse. We were lucky to get out of there while we could. I was losing focus, getting distracted. It was time to be better and get through this so I could get back to my life.
Chapter 19
Clifford
Thump. Thump. Thump.
I knocked my head softly but repeatedly on yet another grant proposal. Maybe if I did it long enough, I would stop thinking. I would be completely spent of brain cells.
“This is not a good sign.”
I didn’t lift my head. Only Jack would come in without permission. It was fall break and only teachers were here.
“Hi.” My voice was mumbled by the desk.
“Hello, Ford’s head.” His use of my new nickname caused me to resume my penitence.
Thump. Thump. Thump
“Okay, okay. Let’s just stop that.” He put his hand on my shoulder. “I did knock, but you probably didn’t hear it over the sound of your self-flagellation.”
“Self-medication.”
“My mistake.” I heard the familiar shuffle as Jack popped into my other office chair. “Things are good then?”
