Ford turned me gently by the shoulders until I looked at him. “I don’t want you to go.”
“Okay.”
We stared at each other a long time. I smiled first. He followed my lead and I thought his smile was the best thing I’d ever seen.
“I thought maybe you were kicking me out because I’m too stupid or something.”
Ford huffed a breath. “Have people been telling you you’re stupid all your life?”
“I guess. I think people want me to know my place.”
“Suzie.” He shook his head. “You aren’t stupid. You are… People shouldn’t be allowed to tell others that. Especially not children.” He fisted his hands and stomped away. “It’s not okay.”
“I appreciate you, Ford, but I know what my strengths are—”
“You tell someone they’re one thing their whole life, of course, they’re going to believe it.”
I frowned. “But I’m not smart. I never got good grades.”
“Not having access to information does not make you stupid. And schooling isn’t the only way to have intelligence. I’ve watched you read a room the second you walk into it. You obviously have far more social sense than I ever will. And you are so supremely gifted with your body.”
“Now that I’ve been told before.” I flipped my hair with a showy wink.
“I’m serious.” He waived away my comment, frustration growing. “With music. You feel it in your bones. And you teach people too. Not everybody has a gift for teaching, let me tell you.”
I smiled down at my muddy sneakers. I did love dancing and teaching. “Today, Gretchen told me that she hasn’t felt that hot in years.” I had to admit, it sorta felt nice to lift women up and give them confidence. I was teaching them to dance for themselves. Not for men or money.
“You have a gift of making people feel like they’re the most important person in the world.”
I shook my head studying the valley below.
“I’m serious. The first time I saw you, I thought it was part of your routine. I thought maybe you made your money that way. But you have an energy about you.”
“The first time you saw me you’d just busted Occum's balls. It was great.” These compliments made me itchy. “I still can’t believe you told him off the way you did.”
“Were you eavesdropping?” he asked.
“I had to hear who was pissing Occum off so much, didn’t I?”
Some of the tension released from his shoulders and he shook his head with a laugh. “That guy. There’s something off.”
“He’s not nice, but he protects his own.”
Ford looked like he was about to say something but thought better of it.
“So if you aren’t kicking me out, what are you going to do?”
I was so afraid of his answer and afraid of how much his answer meant to me. I didn’t want another man to have this power over me, and yet he had found a way to worm right in.
“First I wanted to give you this. We’re done with it.” He pulled the worn notebook from his back pocket.
It was the one he’d been tracking my to-do list on. He handed it to me. The way I clutched it, it could have been a diamond ring.
“Okay.” It felt like a grand gesture. Only I wasn’t sure what kind. The middle finger kind of gesture, or what?
“No more lists. No more changes. Do with it what you will. I don’t need it. You decide if you want to do anything or nothing with it.”
“Okay.” I studied him. He was watching me so intently. His focus flicked all around my face. I wanted to lean into him.
