“Suzie.” He gently pulled my hand from my mouth where I’d been chewing my cuticle without realizing. “Tell me what’s up. Is your dad in trouble?”
He didn’t let go, instead driving with his left hand. He laced his fingers through mine. I wasn’t about to let go either. He tethered me and kept my thoughts from spiraling.
“Probably not. It’s the bar. The Iron Wraiths go there and they don’t like me.”
“You mentioned them before. Because of the rivalry with the Black Demons?” He flicked a concerned glance my way.
“Partly. And maybe a little because a long time ago, I made a stupid mistake. One of them decides you’re on their blacklist and they all follow suit. Pack mentality.”
“What did you do?”
“Well, most people would tell you that I set Jethro Winston’s motorcycle on fire in a fit of jealous rage.”
“You set a motorcycle on fire.” It wasn’t quite a question because he didn’t quite disbelieve I could do something like that.
“Yup. And burned it. To the ground.” I had made sure of it.
“Was that premeditated?”
“As much as anything I do is thought out in advance. At the time it seemed like my best option.” And it had been.
“You said that’s what other people would tell me. What would you tell me?”
The darkness of the car and his hand in my mine felt like it gave me the courage to be honest and tell him something nobody else on this planet knew outside a few people. It was important for him to know about what he was getting into.
“When I was with Jethro, he was mixed up in some heavy shit. Including, but not limited to, drugs—buying, selling, and using, to some degree.”
The hand in mine squeezed tighter.
“One time he said that he wanted to go to the Dragon Bar to drink. I hadn’t been feeling like he was serious about me at that time. I had almost broken it off a few times but I didn’t. I kept hoping that maybe I could just…” I shook my head once. “Well, anyway, I was still with him and eager to please. We showed up and had some drinks. I was a little drunk when he tells me he has to go take care of something. A few minutes later a bunch of the Wraiths come running out and leave the bar in a big hurry. The rumble of all the bikes booking it at once was intense.” I rubbed down my arm to soothe the goosebumps forming.
“I told him I thought we were on a date and I was sick of him putting those bikers first. He made a face and said something about us not dating. I couldn’t believe it. It had been almost a year of on again, off again. Wehadbeen dating but with one comment he made me seem like I was crazy for feeling that way. Then he started to drag me to the exit. He was freaking out. He was hollering, ‘We need to go now.’ I got angry. I was sick of him dicking me around and I was sick of feeling stupid. I said, ‘No, fuck you.’ He took one look at me and dropped me like I was nothin’. He said, ‘Suit yourself.’ He left me where I stood. That’s when Razor said the cops would be there any second and he needed to get the fuck out.”
Ford let out a long breath. “He’s the head of the Wraiths, you said?”
“Razor, yeah.” I couldn’t stop now so I kept on. “That was when we heard the sirens. Jethro was freaking out. He looked terrified. I knew why we had to leave. I knew that Jethro hid drugs in his bike. He never told me outright, but I’d seen the secret compartment near the gas tank and the one under the second seat. I wasn’t an idiot. If the cops showed up and caught him in possession of all those drugs, he'd go to jail for a long time. Razor would’ve easily let him take the fall.
“In my mind, I only had one option. I was steaming mad, on so many levels. I never wanted to be mixed up in any of that sh—stuff and he had pushed me more and more. So finally, I snapped. I killed a few birds with one stone. I grabbed two bottles of Bacardi from behind the bar and ran outside. The whole time I swore and called him every name under the sun. I made a whole scene of it. He was yelling at me to stop, telling me I was crazy. Outside I started pouring the booze all over his bike. He swore up and down but he didn’t stop me. He could have easily pulled me off. But he didn’t. We both knew what I was doing.”
I took a deep breath.
“By the time the cops showed up, the bike was far past being saved. I probably could’ve been arrested for that, but Jethro made some excuse about a gasoline leak and honestly, the cops were eager to ignore it and happy to see him hurting. They ran inside to search for whatever they thought they’d find. They didn’t find anything, of course.”
I thought too often of Jethro’s face when I got out that lighter. The anger—but something else. That something else is what stuck in my head for years. That something else had me hoping beyond hope that there was a good man under there, a man who might fight for me and protect me. Turned out there was. Just not for me. For a better woman. A familiar pain clamped my heart.
“Jesus.”
“I know.” I quickly wiped away a tear that escaped before Ford could see. “But that was the last time I saw him, at least on purpose. Green Valley is a small place so he was around, but I was done. I knew I’d never be enough for him. After that, the Iron Wraiths put a mark on me because of what I did. I had to run for protection somewhere else.”
“Black Demons?”
“I was young and terrified. Razor is dangerous. Nobody crosses him. And I wasn’t really a Wraith girl, just a piece for Jethro. Jethro wasn’t about to stand up for me. When I came home and told my dad what happened, he added to the fear. Told me how stupid I was to cross Razor. I found out that the Wraiths had broken his leg when he couldn’t pay back a loan he took from them. My whole life until that point I’d thought it was an accident from work. But no. He started drinking after mom left and ran up a debt with them. When he didn’t pay up, they taught him a lesson.
“My dad terrified me. He couldn’t believe I’d crossed Razor. I was nineteen. I had no idea how bad it was. I was young and scared stupid. I ran to the G-Spot where I was working. I thought maybe I could find help. I found Occum. The Black Demons took me in. Occum took me in. He protected me.”
I stopped to take a shaky breath. The words were spilling out so fast I couldn’t keep up. Ford was so silent. I continued.
“At first it was just because I owed them money. They’re paying off my debt to the Wraiths. It was a motorcycle and who knows how much drugs. I assumed it was a ton of money, not to mention the pride of Razor. Then I realized they’re my only family. They’re the only ones who accept my lifestyle. The rest of the town wants nothing to do with me. Not with my daddy being the type of person everybody sees as a bottom-feeder and me and my career choices. I have nowhere else to go. I’ve been dancing, stripping. Most my money goes to Occum and he pays the Wraiths. But dancing and stripping is all I do. Nothing more.”
