Suzie hesitated before quickly grabbing my hand and squeezing it. “Thank you again. I feel like that’s all I ever say. Thanks for helping with Daddy and earlier.” She blushed a little but her eyes were downcast.
“Earlier” felt like a thousand years ago. She was closed off now, distant. She didn’t touch me as freely or hold my eyes. Maybe I should have done more, said more.
“Okay.”
She frowned but smoothed her features quickly.
I didn’t know how to formulate what I wanted to say. I had so many thoughts. I hated that she was stuck in a cycle of men using her. I wanted to take her home and talk to her in the comfort of our quiet and clean house.
We turned in tandem when the screen door slammed shut.
“And, I think I’ll probably spend the night here. Maybe a of couple nights. Make sure things are okay around here.”
She wanted to leave me and go back to this life. I couldn’t handle it. I didn’t want her to go. I was irrationally upset by this news. After the surprising events of this morning, it had been such a wonderful afternoon, followed by this shit evening.
Inside a TV blared to life followed by the crash of something.
She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. “I better go check on him.”
It wasn’t fair. That man didn’t deserve her. She shouldn’t be bending backward for all these people. I wanted to express to her all the things she deserved. But because my mouth and brain were never on the same page…
“He’s never going to be better if you keep enabling his behavior.”
I knew it was a dick thing to say. I knew it was reminiscent of the Clifford she had met and not the Ford I was around her. But the words slipped out and I regretted them immensely.
Her jaw clenched, nostrils flared, and her eyes burned with fury. But then the rage that twisted her face melted into a laugh. “Wow. Thank you.”
“For what?” My chest heaved from frustration with myself.
“For reminding me that all men do think they know what’s best for me.” She chuckled sardonically and shook her head. “For a second there I actually thought you were different.”
She got out of the car and slammed the door, leaving me to my stunned silence.
* * *
Suzie
I was spitting mad. I was seeing red. I was about to burn everything to the ground. I was all the ragey things. But really, the truth was, I was humiliated. I was humiliated that Ford saw my father like that. I was humiliated that my real life was a pile of garbage and he couldn’t wait to get out of this heap.
Oh, but not before telling me exactly how to live my life.
I slammed the car door so hard Mrs. Albensi and all her cats probably sprung up from sleep but I didn’t care. I stomped up to the house and was just about to go in when Ford stopped me.
“Suzie, wait.” He slammed his door and jogged to me.
I should’ve slammed the door in his face. I still might.
“What?” I crossed my arms and tilted my head. “Forget some more sage advice you have to share?”
“No. No.” He held up his hands. “Now just wait. I’m sorry. I got it all wrong.”
“I don’t get you. How can you go from being so thoughtful one second and then tellin’ me how to live my life the next?”
“I am being thoughtful. Addictions are black holes and he’ll pull you in until there’s nothing left. I didn’t say it right, what I meant.”
“You didn’t mean that?” I gestured to the car.
He frowned. “No. I meant what I said. But it was the timing. I got all mixed up. Can we please talk for just a second before you go stomping off again?”
