I hated that I was kowtowing to him. I hated that he was here in my town, with my friends, ruining the one piece of happiness in my life.
“It’s time to leave.” Roxy pulled me toward the door.
Occum stepped after her with his arm raised and a lecherous smile. I grabbed it with all my strength, digging my nails into his flesh.
“Don’t you touch her.”
“You’re changing, girl. You’re making a mistake.” He dropped his arm and looked at me with unadulterated hatred.
I didn’t care what he said because he was moving back toward the bike and leaving. That was all I cared about.
“This isn’t where you belong. You can play dress up and pretend for now but this isn’t real.”
“I know that.” I was too angry. I was too scared for my new friends. I couldn’t handle this mess bleeding over to my other life.
“You better get your john to sign off on those papers. Or all your whoring around is a waste of fucking time.”
Occum got on his bike and drove off. His words rang in my ears louder than the engine long after he left. Heat burned my eyes and neck and cheeks. I wanted to be swallowed up by the ground. I couldn’t turn around and look at the girls. I couldn’t handle what they had learned about me. I couldn’t see the truth of who I was in their eyes. That was the thing though, wasn’t it? What I really was. I was a biker whore. I was Short Fuse Suzie, stripper and nothing more. That’s all I’d ever be. This whole fake life was a joke. In the end, I was going to have to go back to Occum. I was going to have to live the life I belonged to.
“Come on, doll. Let’s get inside.” Gretchen placed a hand on my shoulder gently.
I faced the girls. “You heard him. What I am. You don’t have to pretend anymore that I’m any better. You don’t have to be seen with me.”
A cold emptiness filled me. An acceptance at the reminder of who I really am.
Gretchen glared at me, her face angrier than I’d ever seen it. “You think that’s what friends are? Just here for who we want you to be?”
I held her gaze. I was angry. She was too. We glared at each other.
“No ex left behind.” Her words sent chills down my arms. “It’s not some cutesy saying. It’s an oath.”
I nodded, breaking our staring contest first.
“Who was that man?” Blithe asked.
Roxy gently tugged me back into the cafe. When we were back inside, Lucas walked the only customer out and locked the door, turning the sign to “Closed”. Gretchen whispered something to him and he nodded once. His gaze moved over my face before he returned to the back of the store and out of sight.
Blithe placed an ice pack on my cheek. I didn’t realize until the cool hit it how badly it burned.
“He’s my boss.” I didn’t want them to know the truth of my past and what I’d done to survive.
“He don’t treat you like a boss,” Gretchen said.
She was quiet with rage. I realized that her and Ford had that in common. Under an overall level of toughness, they were actually pretty similar. She stewed quietly with her thoughts.
“That’s not how anybody should be treated.” Blithe said. Her hand moved to a small scar on her chin.
The other women tutted their agreement sadly.
Blithe removed the ice and pressed a gentle finger to my face. “I know it feels like that’s normal. That’s just how they show their love. But love is never violent. It can sometimes feel like there is no way out…”
I shook my head. They didn’t understand. Occum was the boss. He controlled everything. My whole life was wrapped up in the Black Demons. They didn’t understand that there was no other place for me to go. I burned my bridges everywhere else. The Black Demons protected me. I didn’t have the money or knowledge to run away. I wasn’t as strong as they were. It was too late to change.
“Do you need help?” Gretchen asked flatly.
I didn’t need help. I needed to stick to the plan. I needed to get the signature. And remember where I came from and more importantly where my life was. The universe had sent me a reminder just when I had been thinking that maybe I could change.
“No. I’m good.” I held her gaze before I eventually had to look away.
