The punching bag in the corner took the brunt of my frustrations until my knuckles were close to bleeding and the adrenaline faded. Once my breathing quieted and my heart wasn’t hammering in my ears, I stilled to listen. There was another advantage to my secret space. The venting system led directly above the rehearsal room. This was where I first heard Kim playing solo.
I moved to the register in the corner and flicked open the vent. From my position a floor above, the back of the bassists and cellists were just visible. Kim was in her seat smiling at Chagny who squatted in front of her. Her face was deep in the bouquet, inhaling. What a showy way to mark her as his in front of the whole symphony. Carla stood close to the vent talking to her father. Dick had come into the room, as I suspected he would.
“He wasn’t in his office,” Dick said.
His other half was discussing something with a group of musicians in the corner.
“He needed to go pout. He’s such a diva.” This from Carla. She pulled out an e-cigarette and took a long pull blowing the smoke into the air. They were strictly prohibited.
Her father lowered his voice. “I know you don’t like him, but he’ll be out soon.”
I stilled. The room around me hummed as I strained to listen.
Carla rolled her eyes. “You keep saying that, but he’s still here.”
“He can’t control himself. The donors will only allow so much brash behavior. His showcase is going to be a disaster.”
“What about the chair tests? I’m first chair. Everybody knows that. I shouldn’t have to audition again.”
“I know. Don’t worry about it. I will fix it.”
The anger returned inside of me. So that was how it was going to be?
Another musician walked up. “These antics are getting a little ridiculous, aren’t they?” He too pulled out an e-cig and inhaled.
My focus shifted behind them when Erin walked up to Kim just as Chagny kissed her head and made his way over to the group.
I brought my attention back to the gossips.
“He won’t last, even if he pulls off the performance of a lifetime. He’s not worth the trouble. My parents aren’t pleased.” Chagny picked up on the conversation seamlessly.
Carla raised an eyebrow. “Oh?”
“They wanted him to bring in the revenue, but he won’t last. He’ll burn out. His ego? The antics? The mask? It’s all a little juvenile. He’s a ticking time bomb.”
“The rest of the symphony can’t stand him,” Carla added. “They’re close to rioting. He treats them like children and they’ll only stand for so much. He’s gaining a reputation all right, but probably not the one he wants.”
“Listen, I like the guy.” Chagny pulled a pitying face. “But he can’t maintain a career anywhere. This will be his, what? Fifth conducting position? In as many years. It’s sad.”
The worst part about eavesdropping was hearing ugly truths about yourself.
The clarinetist left Kim’s side, and after several worried looks, she joined the gossiping group. “Be careful what you say.”
Carla rolled her eyes. “Or the Devil of the Symphony will get me?”
Erin frowned. “He’s our Maestro. He should be respected.”
Behind the conversation, Kim was now listening, though she tried to hide it. Her profile showed a worried frown, but she didn’t speak.
“Time to get back in our seats,” Erin warned, looking at the screen of her phone.
“He isn’t even here,” Carla said. “He’s off throwing a tantrum.”
“You have no idea where he is. You better be mindful of what you say.”
With that, I left the room. As I made my way back to the main floor, I debated as to why was Kim so intimidated by that foolish cellist. I still had a hard time accepting this quiet version of Kim. No, not Kim. Christine. The Kim I was beginning to know spoke her mind easily. Christine hid behind her instrument and played it safe. It was like she had split herself into two completely different people.
Well, I’d had enough.
