“Yes. I wouldn’t have—”
“It’s okay.” I smoothed my hair before twisting it up into a quick bun. I slept with it down and could only imagine how it looked. He watched the action closely before looking to my lips and then eyes.
“We were both sleeping,” he said almost in question.
“Yes. Definitely sleeping. It was just. I think—I mean, we’re human. And I don’t know about you, but it’s been a while for me.” I clamped shut. I really needed to stop talking.
He cleared his throat. “Yeah, I just—”
“Just what?” I asked too quickly.
“I mean yeah, it’s been a while for me too.”
“It has?”
He gave me a look.
“Sorry. Don’t answer that. Boundaries,” I mumbled.
“I knew this was a bad idea,” he said softly, almost to himself.
“The storm …” It had shaken me more than I had wanted to admit, but the second we’d climbed into bed together I’d fallen right asleep. I’d slept better than I had in ages. It was like our bodies had just made a decision in our sleep for us.
“I understand. I really am sorry. Did I—” he cleared his throat. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine. You have nothing to be sorry about. You didn’t do anything. I mean I was the one on top of you. I was the one—”
“It’s okay.” He took another deep breath. He lifted the pillow to look and quickly put it back.
“You knew it was a bad idea?” I felt shame with that. A different sort of shame. I was the one who walked in on him in the shower. I was the one that was basically dry humping him in his sleep. I kept crossing the lines while he worked to keep them in place. How long until he’d want to stop working with me all together?
“You’re a beautiful woman. I’m a man. I’m alone a lot—not that it excuses it. Our bodies must have just—” He was rambling, talking almost to himself.
“Totally. It was a subconscious thing.” I situated the blankets to cover my smile.
For all of my talk about not caring for being called beautiful by men, when Devlin said it—as though it was just an obvious fact, as though he’d always felt that way, and it was just something he was used to—well, I was ashamed to say that it lit me up. I felt sexy. I hadn’t felt sexy in a very long time. I’d kept myself muted. He only knew me as a muted shade of brown, and yet he thought I was beautiful.
He grabbed his phone from the nightstand.
“What time is it?” I asked.
“It’s only 5:30.”
“I usually get up at this time. I won’t be going back to sleep,” I said.
“Me neither.”
Our gazes clashed again, and I smiled. He smiled back, but it was tensed. “This could have been very awkward.”
“Thank goodness it’s not awkward at all. We can just get up and have coffee. We should check the roads. No need to ever talk about it again.” I shrugged. I played it off so he wouldn’t get freaked out. I’d pushed too far.
“Good idea,” he said.
“Right. So, I’ll just go make some coffee?” I asked.
“Sounds good. I’ll meet you in the kitchen.”
“Okay.” I blew out air from pursed lips.
