I didn’t give a shit that I’d lost control. I was only human. My control had been thinly tethered since rehearsal had started and Kim was visibly distant from me. It had frayed further still by his arrival and the flowers. Further again with his attempt at taking her victories and making them his. Then he’d lied to her face and my last thread snapped. And I couldn’t care less.
When he lied to the world, he took what was mine. Was he insane or did he really think she would never know? How could she not see through his bullshit? Kim was frightened by something, maybe the depth of our connection or her own future, but she wasn’t an idiot. She was brilliant and it boggled my mind that he could even garner any of her attention, let alone affection.
My thoughts were incoherent. Kim crouched at his side. I stood there shaking out my throbbing fist until I was forcibly dragged into Andy-Dick’s office. I wasn’t sure by whom. I just knew that one second I was watching her try to staunch that asshole’s bleeding, the next we were all in the office together.
“We will deal with you later.” Dick dabbed sweat off his face as he spoke to me. “First I have to go calm everyone down.”
“It’s unfortunate,” the other half said to me. He touched his nose when he looked at Chagny sprawled out in a chair with his head held back. “You had been warned.”
The two left. Apparently, no one thought that leaving Kim, Roddy, and me alone in the room was a bad idea. Kim was whispering apologies to him.
“I knew he liked you, but I never thought he’d be so immature,” Chagny said as though he didn’t know I stood only a few feet away.
“I should hit you again,” I spat.
“Maestro, please,” Kim said from his side.
Maestro? Was she kidding me? “Are you serious?”
“Please, let me handle him. One thing at a time,” she pleaded with me.
Her face was so pale, more so than when the chair positions were posted. I knew she’d been holding herself back, avoiding the limelight. I understood her fears now, but she would never change if she held on to them. I had tried to warn her. Ethically, I couldn’t say too much.
“So that’s it? You were just going to leave? With a show coming up?” I snapped. I should have waited until I was calmed down, but I needed answers. I couldn’t stomach the sight of her babying him. How could she so easily push me aside? This wasn’t the Kim I knew.
“You’re out of control,” Chagny lifted his head to spit the words at me with a congested sniff. To Kim he said, “I knew he was dangerous. To think all that time you were alone with him. God, the worst could have happened.”
Kim glanced at me and back to him. “Roddy. Listen. We need to talk. You really shouldn’t have pushed so hard either. This has nothing to do with either of you.”
“It has everything to do with me and you know that.” I heard the crack in my voice. I was giving my hurt away. She saw too much. I steeled my voice. “How long have you two been together?”
At this her head started to shake. “No. It wasn’t like that—”
“But it is now?” I asked.
“Of course.” Roddy sniffed checking for blood with his hand. “Since I’ve been back in town.”
Kim shot a look to him. “Wait, what? No. Roddy, I think you and I need to talk separately.”
“What has all this been Kim?” I hit a hand to my chest. “Am I just your fun distraction waiting for the real thing?”
She held my gaze. “Is that what you really think of me?”
“I don’t think you’re a liar. I would never think that. But you can’t speak your truth and that’s just as dangerous. You let people live your life for you. I won’t do that or be that way. I don’t know what to think anymore. I certainly had no idea you were about to go on tour. This is all news to me. You made promises.”
“I did commit to help with the concerto. You’ve finished it now. I’m trying to do what’s best here. Be patient with me while I figure this out.” Her eyes pleaded with me. I had to look away. “If I take that solo, if I stay here, you know how it would go over.”
Roddy added sheepishly, “I was going to surprise you after the show. Everything has come through perfectly. People are dying to see Christine Day already.”
“This is bullshit. You committed to me!” I yelled and kicked the desk.
She flinched back. I knew I was only making things worse, but we couldn’t end like this. She couldn’t be pressured into leaving. She’d promised me.
Roddy remained quiet as his gaze flicked between us. It was calculating. I didn’t like it.
“I’m sorry.” Kim brought my attention back to her. Her face was creased with a frown.
“Why don’t you want her to go?” Roddy asked me. “Are you worried about her or your September showcase? Did you tell her you’d always intended for her to have the solo? How you fought for her on the committee?”
