9
Anna
Hi, My name is Anna and I make terrible life choices. It has been one minute since my last terrible life choice.
Of course. Of course the man who kisses like an angel and swept me off my feet is a few sandwiches shy of a picnic.
And yet . . .
The strangest sense of déjà vu I had ever experienced swept through my body when our lips met. I wandered in a haze of disbelief as I got dressed and found clothes for him too. I was on autopilot. What does one say to the crazy man who just kissed them senseless? I clearly had no sense left. Occasionally my fingertips drifted to my lips and ghosted over them. I’d never thought much about reincarnation before, but kissing Sam was like having a piece of my soul I had never known was missing returned to me. It would make remembering life after life worth it.
“Anna?” His thumb brushed my cheek, shaking me out of my reverie.
He wore jeans stretched too small over his muscular thighs. And the flannel shirt was rolled up, highlighting his forearms and somehow his biceps at the same time. All he needed was an axe balanced on his shoulder and he could be in a lumberjack porn calendar.
“Where did you go?” he asked.
I licked my lips with a shake of my head. “What do you mean ‘go talk to the llama?’”
Maybe I had misunderstood in my haze of lust.
“I think he is the key as to why I am here.”
Nope. Okay. So definitely crazy then. “My llama? Marv is the key as to why you’re in Stars Crossing?”
He thought for a moment. “Yes. I believe so. Kissing you . . . It stirred something in my memory. I believe I know him.”
The dread solidified into a block of ice that encased my thumping heart. “Ah. Right. You know my llama.”
“Yes. I think we are family.”
I smiled at him, mentally cataloguing where I’d left the shot gun.
Well, this all made sense. I should have known there was no way a guy that hot and charming and thoughtful would crash into my life without some sort of catch. If I was being honest with myself, I had been waiting for the other shoe to drop since his clear blue eyes looked at me with longing. Men who looked like they fell out of magazines don’t fall for small town nurses in the Nowheresville, USA.
Why did I keep doing this? Why did I keep getting my hopes up only to have them dashed to the ground?Cheater Charlie must have broken my brain. He hadn’t broken my heart, but maybeIwas really the crazy one because I felt like it was breaking right now. Like this farm, Sam felt like home. When he’d kissed me, I’d finally felt like I had somewhere to belong again. I’d been adrift since my mother died.
“Well, you go out to the barn to talk to Marv. The llama.” I puffed out my breath, blowing my bangs up and out of my eyes. “I will stay here and keep the fire up. Be careful out in the snow.” My tone sounded cold even to my own ears.
“You seem upset, Anna. What has changed? That kiss was amazing, yet I feel a shift in your mood.”
“Nope. Nuh-uh. I’m fine and dandy.”
“You are lying. Since our kiss, I can read your moods clearly. More so than before, and I already felt I knew you from the moment I saw you.”
The emotions rollercoastering in my chest had me squeezing my eyes shut. On the one hand, ithadfelt so right when we kissed; right in a way I didn’t even think could be real. But on the other hand, he said things that are so clearly out-of-this-world crazy, it shut me down again immediately. I can’t let myself open up to this level of hurt. I can’t—not again. Best to focus on the facts in front of me and not the feelings clouding my judgement.
I softened my smile. “You go catch up with Marv and I’ll be here.”With the shotgun.
The ache in my chest felt real, burning like true heartbreak. The hurt that Charlie had left me with was nothing in comparison to this feeling of desolation.
He rubbed a thumb over my lips before lowering his head to kiss me lightly. I closed my eyes at the feeling of rightness. It wasn’t fair. It shouldn’t feel this good. When he clearly. .. needed help. Help that I couldn’t provide.
“I will return shortly.” He moved to leave.
“Wait,” I said. I reached into the mud room for the old Carter jacket that hung by the door. “It’s so cold out there.” I breathed, inhaling his scent, forcing myself to believe it would be for the last time. I could not let myself get this close to him again.
I zipped him up before patting him lightly on the chest. The sadness must have been written across my face. He lifted my chin with a finger and gave me a half smile that made me knees quiver.
