3
Anna
“Oh, crap. Oh, damn. Oh, hell. Frick, frack, fuck.”Why couldn’t I be quiet?
More importantly, why was I outside stumbling around in the snow-covered pasture in my Grinch jammies and bathrobe with my feet jammed into my grandmother’s two-sizes-too-small snow boots?
A normal, sane person would be on the porch yelling for the damn llama to get his ass back to the barn, not wandering around a dark pasture in the middle of a snowstorm after having her power go out. But damn it, I had never been normal or sane. Horror movies were my favorite, and I loved a good thrill. Not to mention the fact that I had been quite liberal with the Schnapp’s in my hot cocoa and I was still buzzing. I was half freaked because of the power outage and half annoyed because Marv had gotten out again.
“Marvin, get your ass over here,” I called. “How did you get out of the barn again, you little butthead? My voice rose at least half an octave after each word as panic started to set in. It was freaking dark as heck out here, dang it. Yeah, the moon was full enough to provide some light, but the trees were so dense and tall that every few steps plunged me into pitch black—like I was stuck in a frozen-ass outdoor rave. The farther away I got from the house, the harder my heart started to pound with the sense that something besides Marv was out here. “Damn naughty, jerk-face llama, never stays where he’s supposed to . . .” I muttered as I stupidly,stupidlycontinued sloshing through the sloppy, wet snow, bumbling through the spiky, frozen underbrush with my eyes peeled for the trouble-making llama.
I couldn’t let him escape into town again. The animals and this house were the only things I had left of the family I had never known and some instinct deep inside told me I had to keep them safe. I froze as the sound of a gasp broke through my rant. Marv did not gasp like that—nuh-uh, nope, he did not. “Hello? I have a shot gun and a short fuse and would love to shoot someone tonight. Just test me.”
I squealed when Marv ran up behind me. He briefly rested his head on my shoulder, just long enough for me to grab his halter. Then he stood straight, lurched forward and let out a loud, vibrating llama shriek before spitting at something on the ground. “Oh, shit. Oh shit, oh shit,” I squealed once I got an eyeful of what he spit on.
A man.
A very, uh, giftednakedman—totally unconscious too. He looked otherworldly lying there in the snow with his smooth skin almost glowing in the moonlight. “Holy shit! What the hell, Marv?” Now I was the one left gasping.
I need to help him.
Like hell I do.I stumbled backward, tripping over something to land on my ass in the snow. I fumbled in my pocket for my flashlight and aimed it. He was breathing,thank goodness. I could never sleep here again if a dead body had somehow ended up in the pasture.
But more importantly, good gracious, he was gorgeous. Andhuge—the most beautiful man I’d ever seen, with a record setting dick. I should be ashamed of myself, but damn that thing was big and it’s not like he would ever know I was aiming the flashlight right at it and staring at it like a weirdo creeper. He was unconscious for crap’s sake; I could look all I wanted.Ack! No, I couldn’t! I was a nurse. I took important oaths and stuff. I gulped as I took in wide shoulders and a broad chest tapering down into sculpted abs that looked straight off a fitness magazine cover or a yummy romance novel. He looked to be tall with long, heavily muscled legs. Even his feet were beautiful. I resisted the urge to check out his dick again. I mean, that would be wrong, right? Everyone deserved privacy. Especially naked, unconscious people . . .
He needs your help, stupid. Quit being such a pervert.
I slipped out of my robe and covered him before pulling my phone from my pajama pocket. “Be quiet, Marv.” I ordered as I tapped the screen to activate it and call the sheriff’s department for help. Marv placed his head on my shoulder and huffed out an annoyed llama sigh in response, as if I’d just insulted him. Damn phone was deader than a doornail. Which was odd because I remember unplugging it before stuffing it into my pocket. Or did I? Mentally, I added excessive drinking next to men on the list of things I would no longer be doing, because this was just ridiculous.
I couldn’t leave him here. He’d die in the cold for sure. “Marv, if you run off, I’m going to be wearing a llama fur coat next winter, do you get me?”
A disgruntledmyamyamyaaallama vibration was my only response. That, and I swear the little turd rolled his eyes at me.
This dude was huge. Carrying him was not even remotely a possibility so I bent to flip him over onto my robe. Dragging him across the pasture was the only way. “We have to hurry.” I grunted after a bolt of lightning told me this storm was far from over tonight.
